Dr. Seuss

I'm in crisis right now. I keep finding reasons to carry on but I'm so exhausted I don't know if I can. I thought this was a cool sign that I haven't decided if I'll ignore or not...

Give Me Everything

New song I heard on the radio tonight. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

There's not much to the lyrics and only about half of them are disturbing.

So lines like "for all we know we might not get tomorrow, lets do it tonight. I will love love you tonight" are really quite sweet. I like the idea that we should love now.

I think where it gets creepy is when he starts talking about loving as in have sex with, which starts with "grab somebody sexy, tell 'em hey, Give me everything tonight"

I don't like the idea that sex requires women to "give" everything. If we give everything, we are left with nothing. We constantly talk about sex in these terms. Women give it up, men get some. Men never give anything. I don't blame them so much for these lyrics though. It's a common way to talk about sex so I guess ignorance is not the worst crime.

But it gets even worse with "Excuse me but I might drink a little bit more than I should tonight and I might take you home with me tonight"

So hopefully he's not thinking he's going home with her no matter what she says, but I think it's a generally bad idea when anyone goes out thinking they'll get a little too drunk and then fall into bed with someone. I'm not saying I've never done that or that it's always going to result in date rape, but it's a distinct possibility. And glorifying it in song does not help anyone.

Also he says he's "desperate tonight." So not good... To me, a desperate man means a violent man. I guess that's because men have to continually prove their masculinity. I mean they are always in danger of being feminine (insults for men are "little bitch" "Fag" "pussy") So if a big way men can prove their manliness is sexual prowess, what do you think happens when they are desperate to do so? I don't know about you, but I won't go home with a man I don't know who is desperate to have sex. That's just such a turn off. So what happens to the man who can't prove his masculinity through sex? He seeks to prove it with physical strength.

(Obviously this is not true of ALL men. Of course I know plenty of good men who don't buy into this bullshit. This is just what I'm interpreting from this song)

So another line starts off really sweet, "Reach for the stars and if you don't grab 'em at least you're on top of the world" then gets creepy, "Think about it. Cause if you slip I'm gonna fall on top of you girl *haha*"

What? Not if you slip I'll catch you, if you slip I'll land on you. So I'm interpreting this in two ways. One men are always higher than women. They will always have more power and more money and more status than women. So even if women are on top of the world, men will still be one step higher. But I don't think this song is smart enough to make such a social statement.

The other way is if she slips up, he'll take advantage. I'm getting that more from the sinister sounding laugh at the end of the phrase.

Anyway. I don't think I like this song. Sucks too cause the melody is great and Ne-Yo has a lovely voice.

Is it any wonder?

When this is the commonly held view of women on this campus, is it any wonder sexual violence is so prevalent?

Yay we can get protective orders!

So one of the big things about Yeardly Love's case was that she couldn't have gotten a protective order against her ex-boyfriend if she tried. THANKFULLY that's now changed!

Late last month the bill HB2063 changed the law that specifies only people who could get protective orders were spouses against their partners.

It began as HB2340 but of course a republican had to go and steal Del Morrisseys thunder... But I guess if it helps college aged women (the demographic most likely to experience IPV) I don't really care which party got it passed.

Good step forward Virginia. Somewhat restores my faith in humanity!

Because too much anger isn't good for the soul

Street Harassers

For some reason recently I am being targeted for street harassment more than any other time in my life. Maybe it's because I'm spending so much more time walking down main street but honestly I didn't think it was this bad. I'd like to share todays incident.

So I'm walking in the light rain north on south main in a hot pink sweatshirt with my hood up and comfortable jeans. A man in a white car, driving in the same direction I'm walking, honks at me. When he passed he looked back at me just to make sure I knew he meant me. Well with no other pedestrians around I was pretty sure..... Anyway here's what is wrong with this particular situation. He didn't see my face. Like I said, he came up from behind me and my hood was up. The only reason he suspected I was female is I was wearing pink. So for anyone who feels complimented by street harassment, know it's not about how you look. This man had no idea what I looked like. He wanted to make sure I knew he was looking anyway. I told him to jog on.

Another incident I'd like to share does have more to do with looks. Last Monday was beautiful. I was walking down south main to an event in just a white tank top and jeans. I felt so good to bare skin after keeping it hidden under coats! But my pleasure wasn't just for me. Several men felt entitled to hijack my good mood, thinking it was for them. I got honks as well as blatant stares from people who should be watching the road.

What makes me so mad about this shit is all these men felt entitled to express their unsolicited opinion about me. It's not like some stranger comes up to you and says "I like your shoes." These men were expressing their satisfaction in my appearance in a way that says to me, "I'd really like to fuck you. And if you don't want to, I can make you." It's about power, control, and intimidation.

We were talking in my sociology class about how we describe attractive women. "Stunning" and "knock out" are two relevant examples. My perceived appearance to men is an attack. I've stunned them, I've knocked them out. So to them, I have some power. Power they don't want to be subject to. So they take it back. They take it back with violence against women, which starts with street harassment.

A lecture I went to a few weeks ago mentioned how quickly "hey beautiful" can turn into "hey bitch!" Usually followed with "I was only trying to compliment you!" If it doesn't feel like a compliment, then it isn't. If it feels creepy and wrong, then it is.

Ken

I've just finally watched Toy Story 3 and I am moderately concerned. Yes it's dark and a little scarier than the previous two, but I'm more concerned about the gender policing going on.

So Tour guide Barbie finally gets to meet her Ken at daycare. Though Ken may not be all he seems, he is super feminine. This doesn't seem to bother Barbie at all but Ken's bros spare no feelings. Constantly referring to him as a "girl's toy," it's pretty clear they're insulting him. The movie plays up the fact that he likes clothes and dresses well. These are all things boys aren't supposed to like so it's used as comic effect. Also the scene in which Barbie is working to trick Ken shows that boys who like clothes are less intelligent than women (and that just won't do).

The worst is during the credits when the original cast gets a letter about how life is going at daycare. Someone comments on how neat the authors handwriting is and immediately gives credit to Barbie. Well the camera pans down to the signature and low and behold Ken wrote it. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you see? It's funny! Men aren't supposed to have good hand writing!!

So while I'm sure this movie was aimed toward big kids (like my age!) it is still a cartoon and children are supposed to watch it. So let me ask you this Disney and Pixar, do you really want young boys growing up thinking it's super manly to dress and write like an idiot? No? Good. Find better jokes.

Anti-Choice

So the other day I had an interesting conversation with an anti-choicer I work with. She was asking me questions about why I believe abortion is a legitimate option for pregnant women. I told her I don't believe a zygote is a human until it is able to survive outside the womb. She began spouting Pregnancy Crisis Center lies about when the baby can actually be born and when organs are fully formed. It's been bothering me so instead of writing my dance paper I was looking up a real timeline of how a baby develops in the womb.

What I find most distasteful is the bit about the fingernails. Now I hated the movie Juno because I think it's really dumb and shows an incorrect version of what teen pregnancy is really like. I think though there is a touch of validity to it. So there's a scene in which Juno goes to an abortion clinic to take care of her pregnancy and she runs into a pro-life classmate with a poster. The classmate claims her baby already has fingernails and Juno decides not to abort the baby on the basis that her baby could scratch her insides... Well nails don't even appear until week 20 and they don't extend beyond the fingertips until week 37. As much as I don't like this movie, it has accurately shown the flat out lies anti-choicers will spew in order to manipulate vulnerable, pregnant women. What the hell?!