So this blog could really be titled: Erika comments on sexism in tv shows
On that note, How I Met Your Mother! Excellent show! Especially this week. The theme was challenging the idea that women are sexy when they behave like little girls and that strong, independent women are less attractive to men.
Summary: Ted laments to Robin that she was too strong in their relationship. He needed to feel needed. So he starts dating Becky, who talks and acts like a child. Becky allows Ted to take care of her by paying for ice cream, tying her shoe and killing spiders. Becky encourages this behavior by speaking in "baby talk" and generally acting incapable. Ted much prefers feeling needed to feeling submissive. Gee, I can't imagine how that feels. Can you?
This isn't the first time I've seen this scenario play out on tv. On Reba, Brock left Reba for his secretary (or something) because she couldn't figure out the toaster. So he got to be the big hero and bring the toast to the breakfast table. On Desperate Housewives, Lynette is constantly being forced into a subservient role by her husband Tom because he just can't handle a dominant woman.
So basically this boils down to the masculinity crisis. Men are supposed to be protectors and in charge of women, who are obviously weaker and can't handle themselves.
I can understand this, a little. Obviously no one wants to feel like power is being taken from them. I know I hate to be bossed around or made to feel like I can't make proper decisions. This is why I advocate partnerships, were equality is afforded to each person. That way no one feels belittled and everybody wins.
But the fact is, at least on the tv shows I watch, it's always the men in the relationships getting upset that they have no power or control. This not only reinforces the status quo, it teaches the next generation that strong women are taking something from men. Also that normal men dislike strong women so if you want a date to prom, you best behave like you should.
But here is why HIMYM rules. At the very end of the episode, Robin asks Barney (NPH) if she made him feel unneeded in their relationship, to which he responds, "Yes. You are the least needy girl I've ever banged." He goes on to further compliment her, calling her strong and powerful, which makes her all the more beautiful. The end message is clear. Independent women are in, women who act like babies are out. Seriously, who wants a clingy, needy partner? Not me. It's not fair to expect your partner to take care of you and it's equally dumb to expect to take care of your partner. Why wouldn't you want to date a functioning adult? Seriously, kids are going to be hard enough, no one needs to date one.
Here's the deal though. These men are complaining about something women have been putting up with for centuries. For some reason we were made to accept the fact that we had no control over our lives. Our fathers still give us away at weddings to another man who can provide for and take care of us. So now that men are being given the tiniest taste of that, they freak out and demand their power back. That's the reason feminists are so feared, isn't it? We represent a movement to take some of our power back, which feels to men that we're taking something away (even though it's something not rightfully theirs).
As I see it women have three ways of dealing with this situation. We can 1) give all our power to men and watch them fuck everything up again, 2) go ape shit crazy and band together to create a matriarchy or 3) compromise. Why can't we all agree that being powerless is a terrible feeling? Let's all take a moment and realize that if we don't do it to each other, no one has to feel that way.
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