Ok I may be nitpicking here, but I truly can't stand these words: "women who get themselves in abusive relationships" (cassandra chavez of So you think you can dance)
No women goes out and looks for a man she thinks will hit her. Women do not get themselves in these "situations." Women get caught in the middle of these men. Men who batter are sick. They are diseased and need help. (also jail but that's another issue)
If I can give some advise to anyone who wants it: if your partner ever gets abusive (and i mean physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, anything), Leave. I swear you can come stay with me. The first time. Leave.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
YAY!
Something really not annoying! The radio station 99.5 plays just the worst of the worst crap music has to offer. I take offense to 90% of the songs they play. BUT there was a commercial done by one of the hosts of the morning show and it was awesome! It was called the Pig Out Pledge and it went something like "If you want to pig out this summer, you're going to have to work out!" and it advertised LA Boxing. I love this so much because it's not "stop eating, you're too fat to wear that bathing suit" it's more honest. Because if we want to eat a lot (especially unhealthy food) we need to exercise. Period. That's just a fact of life.
So good for you LA Boxing and 99.5 for promoting a healthy way to look at eating and our bodies!
So good for you LA Boxing and 99.5 for promoting a healthy way to look at eating and our bodies!
Statutory Rape
So recently sports star Lawrence Taylor has been accused of having sex with an underage prostitute. Now I actually think that we should decriminalize prostitution and regulate it as a real business. I see nothing wrong with paying for sex, but I do see a problem with pimping out 15-year-olds. We could, if we would just get our heads out of our asses, make this a safe industry with regular STI screens and safe places to do business.
Now hopefully, this girls uncle (her pimp) will go to jail. I don't know his situation or what drove him to this, but profiting on the rape of his niece is a punishable offense. He should spend a significant amount of time in jail.
This is part of a bigger problem that has slowly worked its way into our society. Why would a 51 year old man want to have sex with a 15 year old girl? I'll tell you why. Because we sexualize children and infantalize women. Proof? Eating disorders. Women in magazines are tiny and then airbrushed to look smaller. If we consider anorexia as a social disorder as well as a psychological disorder, we can say that people learn how they should look from media sources (ex. magazines, movies, music videos, ect) and that they are given the impression that beauty is synonymous with small. So we diet and we starve ourselves, all to conform to the standard of beauty promoted by an industry that loves to profit on our insecurities.
Now here's the kicker: women who don't have body fat or enough body fat, cease to menstruate. The only other females who don't menstruate? Young girls. So the smaller women get, the more men start to associate women with young girls.
So we can say that Mr. Taylor is a product of our twisted society and realize that he "didn't realize she was underage" because of how the media portrays women. BUT it still doesn't change the fact that he had sex with her.
Now solving this matter. I think we should demand a law that prohibits the use of photo shop from magazines and there should be a weight requirement for models. I realize that this is just another way to control women and maybe you think you have the right to publish a photo of a size 8 model and make it look like her jaw is bigger than her waist (I'm talking to you Ralph Lauren), but anorexia kills. These actions have real effects on real women and it's killing us.
Now hopefully, this girls uncle (her pimp) will go to jail. I don't know his situation or what drove him to this, but profiting on the rape of his niece is a punishable offense. He should spend a significant amount of time in jail.
This is part of a bigger problem that has slowly worked its way into our society. Why would a 51 year old man want to have sex with a 15 year old girl? I'll tell you why. Because we sexualize children and infantalize women. Proof? Eating disorders. Women in magazines are tiny and then airbrushed to look smaller. If we consider anorexia as a social disorder as well as a psychological disorder, we can say that people learn how they should look from media sources (ex. magazines, movies, music videos, ect) and that they are given the impression that beauty is synonymous with small. So we diet and we starve ourselves, all to conform to the standard of beauty promoted by an industry that loves to profit on our insecurities.
Now here's the kicker: women who don't have body fat or enough body fat, cease to menstruate. The only other females who don't menstruate? Young girls. So the smaller women get, the more men start to associate women with young girls.
So we can say that Mr. Taylor is a product of our twisted society and realize that he "didn't realize she was underage" because of how the media portrays women. BUT it still doesn't change the fact that he had sex with her.
Now solving this matter. I think we should demand a law that prohibits the use of photo shop from magazines and there should be a weight requirement for models. I realize that this is just another way to control women and maybe you think you have the right to publish a photo of a size 8 model and make it look like her jaw is bigger than her waist (I'm talking to you Ralph Lauren), but anorexia kills. These actions have real effects on real women and it's killing us.
Monday, June 21, 2010
I married my best friend
So I sat through Valentines Day for the first time last night. Yikes. The only two moments I enjoyed was seeing McSteamy come out and Julia Roberts come home to her son. The movie should have just been about those three characters. Would have been so much better!
Ok so what's the secret to a great, long marriage? Marry your best friend. Well what if you've never ever once thought of him that way? What if you both are in relationships? No matter! Dump your partner and hook up with your friend. What if you kissed and it was bad? You're still meant to be!!
I really hate this because I'm desperate to learn that men and women can be just friends. I have one good male friend and we've somehow managed to never think of each other that way. This, as far as I can tell, is rare. I mean, it's been pretty rare for me.
The point is, we learn how to function in the world through media. We learn about proper social and gender roles from movies, tv, commercials, songs, ect. According to all I've seen, unless your best friend is homosexual (Will and Grace), eventually you two are going to be bumping uglies. what the hell?
Ok so what's the secret to a great, long marriage? Marry your best friend. Well what if you've never ever once thought of him that way? What if you both are in relationships? No matter! Dump your partner and hook up with your friend. What if you kissed and it was bad? You're still meant to be!!
I really hate this because I'm desperate to learn that men and women can be just friends. I have one good male friend and we've somehow managed to never think of each other that way. This, as far as I can tell, is rare. I mean, it's been pretty rare for me.
The point is, we learn how to function in the world through media. We learn about proper social and gender roles from movies, tv, commercials, songs, ect. According to all I've seen, unless your best friend is homosexual (Will and Grace), eventually you two are going to be bumping uglies. what the hell?
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Katy Perry
I really don't like her. I had a mild appreciation for her danceable and sing-along-able when your drunk songs but now she's dead to me.
So the song "California Girls." I hadn't heard it until I saw some beautiful drag queens dancing to it at the Gay Pride Festival in DC last weekend. Since then I've taken part in a parody version and seen the music video.
Ok lets just start by saying she's in league with the disgusting ass hole Snoop Dogg. So in case you didn't catch the porn he produced "Diary of a Pimp," he displays a perverted desire to turn women into sex slaves. He also seems to have the deluded idea that he could do it. What the hell? Ew.
The video is disgusting. She actively turns women in candy. I mean what? We have been reduced to snack food to be consumed. And what the hell is up with the back-up girls trapped in a bubble, jell-o and body bag (ok a wrapper but she seemed deceased to me!)
I just love how at the very end she throws sand in Snoops face for blowing a kiss at her breasts but she had no problem lying on a cloud with only cotton candy covering her ass crack. Now i really do hesitate to talk about her perceived promiscuity because i'd hate to slut shame anyone, but seriously. You do a music video, the most mainstream kind of porn there is, be naked and include Snoop Dogg. I say you get whatever anyone throws at you. I mean that's just gross.
So there. I'm conflicted about what this means for my third wave feminist ideals that say you can do whatever the fuck you want as long as you understand why you do it and that you really want to. But I know that she has done nothing in this video to empower women. So she deserves a what the hell?
So the song "California Girls." I hadn't heard it until I saw some beautiful drag queens dancing to it at the Gay Pride Festival in DC last weekend. Since then I've taken part in a parody version and seen the music video.
Ok lets just start by saying she's in league with the disgusting ass hole Snoop Dogg. So in case you didn't catch the porn he produced "Diary of a Pimp," he displays a perverted desire to turn women into sex slaves. He also seems to have the deluded idea that he could do it. What the hell? Ew.
The video is disgusting. She actively turns women in candy. I mean what? We have been reduced to snack food to be consumed. And what the hell is up with the back-up girls trapped in a bubble, jell-o and body bag (ok a wrapper but she seemed deceased to me!)
I just love how at the very end she throws sand in Snoops face for blowing a kiss at her breasts but she had no problem lying on a cloud with only cotton candy covering her ass crack. Now i really do hesitate to talk about her perceived promiscuity because i'd hate to slut shame anyone, but seriously. You do a music video, the most mainstream kind of porn there is, be naked and include Snoop Dogg. I say you get whatever anyone throws at you. I mean that's just gross.
So there. I'm conflicted about what this means for my third wave feminist ideals that say you can do whatever the fuck you want as long as you understand why you do it and that you really want to. But I know that she has done nothing in this video to empower women. So she deserves a what the hell?
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Bitch
The word. What the hell?
Ok a little history. Ancient Rome was ruled by pagans. The goddess Artemis was a huntress and was often depicted with dogs. She was referred to as the Great Bitch. So when the Christians came along, they needed a way to make paganism undesirable, so they made "bitch" a swear word. And all of the followers of Artemis were called Sons of Bitches. So it's purely a Christian swear word.
Just a side note to point out that bitch refers to the goddess and a son of a bitch refers to anyone else. BUT it still puts the blame on the woman.
So there are a few different ways to call someone a bitch. For the sake of this post I'll just use two: man can be called a "little bitch" and women who are mean or stubborn can be called a bitch.
Ok what now? Bitch means unnaturally submissive and unnaturally dominating? How can that BE?
Ok a little history. Ancient Rome was ruled by pagans. The goddess Artemis was a huntress and was often depicted with dogs. She was referred to as the Great Bitch. So when the Christians came along, they needed a way to make paganism undesirable, so they made "bitch" a swear word. And all of the followers of Artemis were called Sons of Bitches. So it's purely a Christian swear word.
Just a side note to point out that bitch refers to the goddess and a son of a bitch refers to anyone else. BUT it still puts the blame on the woman.
So there are a few different ways to call someone a bitch. For the sake of this post I'll just use two: man can be called a "little bitch" and women who are mean or stubborn can be called a bitch.
Ok what now? Bitch means unnaturally submissive and unnaturally dominating? How can that BE?
Grey's Anatomy
I really like this show. Its full of hot, smart, independent women who are both hetero and homosexual. I love lesbians on TV.
But I'm watching the reruns on Lifetime and I'm realizing how much Dr. Miranda Baily's life is run by sexism. She gets pregnant 10 years into her marriage and career. When her job starts interfering with her duties as a mother and wife, her husband goes ballistic and makes her choose. She chooses her career over her husband. Hell to the mother fucking yes!
I mean what?! Do wives ever make their husbands choose between their career and them? No. Because it's a ridiculous request. Also women are expected to take care of the relationship. If they don't want to take that third shift they are considered cold, frigid, uncaring, unladylike. FUCK YOU!
But I'm watching the reruns on Lifetime and I'm realizing how much Dr. Miranda Baily's life is run by sexism. She gets pregnant 10 years into her marriage and career. When her job starts interfering with her duties as a mother and wife, her husband goes ballistic and makes her choose. She chooses her career over her husband. Hell to the mother fucking yes!
I mean what?! Do wives ever make their husbands choose between their career and them? No. Because it's a ridiculous request. Also women are expected to take care of the relationship. If they don't want to take that third shift they are considered cold, frigid, uncaring, unladylike. FUCK YOU!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Something more awesome than annoying
Actually not annoying at all! The gay pride festival was in DC all last week and I went yesterday. It was AWESOME!
Here's a fun little fact: all of them are feminists.
Here's a few reasons why:
you can't be a feminist and not have to fight against all the other isms. Racism, heterosexism, ect. So it stands to reason that those who fight against heterosexism are also fighting sexism, even if not directly.
Also, (and here's the what the hell moment of this entry) I hate when heterosexuals ask a homosexual couple "who's the man and who's the woman in this relationship." I mean duh. It's ALWAYS obvious. Ok so if you're asking two men in a relationship it's immediately clear THEY'RE BOTH MEN. Expected gender roles (which is what is really being asked) are really detrimental to the fight. It's what makes us assume that a mother will stay home with her children while a father will go out and work 40 hours a week. It's ridiculous because that's obviously not the case in every family and we shouldn't teach our children that's the only way a proper family works.
Thats all for now. But everyone should go next year cause it's brilliant!
Here's a fun little fact: all of them are feminists.
Here's a few reasons why:
you can't be a feminist and not have to fight against all the other isms. Racism, heterosexism, ect. So it stands to reason that those who fight against heterosexism are also fighting sexism, even if not directly.
Also, (and here's the what the hell moment of this entry) I hate when heterosexuals ask a homosexual couple "who's the man and who's the woman in this relationship." I mean duh. It's ALWAYS obvious. Ok so if you're asking two men in a relationship it's immediately clear THEY'RE BOTH MEN. Expected gender roles (which is what is really being asked) are really detrimental to the fight. It's what makes us assume that a mother will stay home with her children while a father will go out and work 40 hours a week. It's ridiculous because that's obviously not the case in every family and we shouldn't teach our children that's the only way a proper family works.
Thats all for now. But everyone should go next year cause it's brilliant!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Old Navy Commercials
Putting aside the fact that the "Modelquins" are creepy as hell, the females are sexist! I really REALLY hate the new commercials featuring the "One Day Wonder Boy." How can women expect advertisements to stop objectifying us if there are an equal amount of commercials objectifying men?! This is not the kind of equality I'm after.
Braces
So most of us had braces. It's a pretty normal rite of passage. But the more I think about those two years, the more I realize what a sick and twisted procedure it is.
I hated my orthodontist. He was a sadistic asshole who seemed to take great pleasure in hurting me every single time I went in. Braces are ridiculously painful corsets on your teeth to change the way they look. I don't know about your teeth, but mine were fine. I mean they were "ugly" but they worked. All braces did was change they way they looked and not even significantly. But still I went through two years PAINFUL years of not being able to chew food and I WANTED this. How sick is it that we WANT braces? We are told over and over again by those "happy" smiling people in the commercials that braces will change our lives! I mean think about it! How many of us thought we'd be happier, more popular, more outgoing, ect ect ect once we got our braces off. How often was this true? Braces didn't do a damn thing for my self-esteem so what the hell did I suffer for?
What the hell?
I hated my orthodontist. He was a sadistic asshole who seemed to take great pleasure in hurting me every single time I went in. Braces are ridiculously painful corsets on your teeth to change the way they look. I don't know about your teeth, but mine were fine. I mean they were "ugly" but they worked. All braces did was change they way they looked and not even significantly. But still I went through two years PAINFUL years of not being able to chew food and I WANTED this. How sick is it that we WANT braces? We are told over and over again by those "happy" smiling people in the commercials that braces will change our lives! I mean think about it! How many of us thought we'd be happier, more popular, more outgoing, ect ect ect once we got our braces off. How often was this true? Braces didn't do a damn thing for my self-esteem so what the hell did I suffer for?
What the hell?
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
95% of Rapists never spend a day in jail
The Annoyed Feminist here with a daily dose of Are you fucking kidding me? So yea, the majority of rapists completely avoid jail time. They manage this a couple of ways:
First off we live in a culture that blames the victim. This is pretty common as we think we can avoid sexual assault if we do not repeat the mistakes of a victim. So a defense attorney representing the rapist can stand in front of a judge, jury, ect and say "she asked for it. Just look at what she was wearing!"
Another way it happens is the excuse we were drunk. In a 2000 survey research showed 41% of offenders were perceived to be under the influence of drugs/alcohol. Here's why this is stupid, we don't give breaks to drunk drivers. We all make bad decisions when we're drunk but when we decide to drive we end up in jail. So WHY for the love of god WHY don't we imprison rapists even when their drunk?
In my opinion, the worst reason rapists avoid jail is because survivors are reluctant to come forward. All I can ask here is that if you're a survivor, is go to the police. If there's one group of people who deserve to be locked up it's rapists.
First off we live in a culture that blames the victim. This is pretty common as we think we can avoid sexual assault if we do not repeat the mistakes of a victim. So a defense attorney representing the rapist can stand in front of a judge, jury, ect and say "she asked for it. Just look at what she was wearing!"
Another way it happens is the excuse we were drunk. In a 2000 survey research showed 41% of offenders were perceived to be under the influence of drugs/alcohol. Here's why this is stupid, we don't give breaks to drunk drivers. We all make bad decisions when we're drunk but when we decide to drive we end up in jail. So WHY for the love of god WHY don't we imprison rapists even when their drunk?
In my opinion, the worst reason rapists avoid jail is because survivors are reluctant to come forward. All I can ask here is that if you're a survivor, is go to the police. If there's one group of people who deserve to be locked up it's rapists.
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