"And don't nobody on TV look like none of y'all!"

I'm sitting here in a mood.

Yesterday was a fantastic day! I got a new bathing suit and I wore it to the pool and I felt beautiful and confident in my body. Today I'm sitting here feeling fat and bloated (because I just got my period whoopdidoo!)

ok so in case none of y'all recognize the quote in the title, this is my favorite show of all time "Whoopi Goldberg: DIrect from Broadway." Whoopi did a one woman show on Broadway that helped make her the star she is today. In this show she took on various characters and addressed various issues from teen pregnancy to ablism to body image problems in children. The quote is from Whoopi as a little black girl who wishes her hair could be long and blonde like the women she see's on TV. As she looks out into the audience she realizes that no one looks like actors in real life: "Don't nobody on TV look like none of y'all"

I'm trying to remind myself of that right now. Every time I look at my body I think about actors and models and how my body compares to theirs. I figure they don't have an excess of fat anywhere on their body. Now I don't know about you, but I have a rather flabby midsection (I get tan lines on my stomach from where the fat folds). I've had cellulite on my thighs ever since I knew what it was and how to look for it. I also have stretch marks on my thighs. All these features can send me into a spiraling depression because for so long my entire self-worth was tied up into my appearance and I never felt it was good enough.

So here are some fun facts courtesy of this great website I found, Fullandfabulous.org

- The average American woman is 5'4", weighs 140 lbs, and wears a size 14 dress.

- The "ideal" woman--portrayed by models, Miss America, Barbie dolls, and screen actresses--is 5'7", weighs 100 lbs, and wears a size 8.

- One-third of all American women wear a size 16 or larger.

- 50% of American women are on a diet at any one time.

- The diet industry (diet foods, diet programs, diet drugs, etc.) takes in over $40 billion each year, and is still growing.

- 90% of high school junior and senior women diet regularly, even though only between 10% and 15% are over the weight recommended by the standard height-weight charts.

- Girls develop eating and self-image problems before drug or alcohol problems; there are drug and alcohol programs in almost every school, but no eating disorder programs.

I have a huge problem with industries that profit off of the pain of others. I immensely dislike fashion magazines, cosmetic companies, plastic surgeons, and diet companies because the only way they stay in business is if people look "wrong." They control what "normal" looks like and profit off of those who do not fit the mold. In 1998 The Body Shop used the tagline "There are 3 billion women who DON'T look like supermodels, and 8 women that do." I'm not sure if the numbers are still true but the sentiment is. If those 8 women are the standard for beauty, then 3 million women are ugly.

However, even as I write this I think of all the steps taken to fix this problem. But I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks it's not good enough. Ok let me try to explain.... I am in the healthy BMI range, but I don't have a flat stomach and my thighs touch at the top. So one could describe me as skinny, but I'm not skinny enough to be one of those 8 women. Now I don't see anyone on TV or in magazines that looks like me. I feel like there are skinny women and plus sized women, but no in between. This obviously isn't true of real life, but really: Don't nobody on tv look like me. Some days it gets to me. this just happens to be one of those days.