oh Rush, how I loathe thee...

"The problem is, and dare I say this, it doesn't look like Michelle Obama follows her own nutritionary, dietary advice. And then we hear that she's out eating ribs at 1,500 calories a serving with 141 grams of fat per serving...I'm trying to say that our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue or of a woman Alex Rodriguez might date every six months or what have you." - Rush Limbaugh

So right, according to the fattest man in the world, Rush Limbaugh, (who couldn't get on fox and friends if he tried because they all look alike), Michelle Obama (or as she's affectionately called by the conservative bloggers, "Moo-chelle") is getting a little hefty and apparently Alex Rodriguez (a Yankee) would never date her.

Apparently we should all strive to look like this:

Or this:

But not this:

Oh no, god forbid you look anything like this fatty-mic-fatterson. I mean look at her! She's so HUGE!!

So obviously my point is, Rush is stupid. We should kick him off the air. I mean what the hell?!

So the point Rush so generously tries to point out to us is that we need to strive to not only be like a woman Alex Rodriguez would want to date or a woman on the cover of Sports Illustrated (but only the swimsuit edition because normal female athletes are all lesbians) but we need to BE them! Because they are the only attractive women in the world and if Rush doesn't want to fuck us, then life just isn't worth living.