So yesterday I went to Walmart to get some much needed American supplies. While attempting to find chapstick I was approached by this sweet looking korean lady holding a bottle of Axe. She asked me if I'd ever heard of God the Mother... I actually have heard this crap before 2 years ago at Tysons corner. What was weird about this lady is she was actually shopping too. The first time I experienced this, the woman talking to me and my friend had a clipboard and other people walking around the mall.
So the deal is some Christians don't accept that God is male. They say God made Adam and Eve in his own image. Well that works for Adam but how did he come up with Eve? As a feminist, I find this concept interesting. I would say patriarchy has teamed up with Christianity to screw women over once more. I mean how can we refute that if God is a man, then men must be powerful. God isn't a woman, so women must be followers. A couple of posts ago I talked about how Eve's punishment was to obey Adam, further proof that Christianity is based in patriarchy. Not only did Eve screw up and eat the Apple, now she/women is not to be trusted. She always needs the supervision and support of a man.
I feel like in their own special way, this group is fighting patriarchy. So I do support them. Although (and for this I'm going straight to a Hell I don't believe in) when she asked me if I wanted to learn more I said, "Sure." When she asked if I'd come to Bible study, I said "Yes I will." She said, "great, what time?" I said, "Wednesday at 5!" I'm not going....
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
London Culture
So I'm back from London where I spent 3 months looking at how feminism functions in Britain. As I tweak my paper for another assignment I'll be putting bits on here for funsies.
Starting with Jordan.
Jordan, a glamour model/singer/actress/reality star is an idol of many young girls and women. When attempting to research her importance to pop culture I found a site called UKJordan.com. Turns out it is a porn site and upon entering the site I was bombarded with pop ups for more porn. Apparently that is her significance to British pop culture.
Her real name is Katie Price, she took on the pseudonym Jordan while working as a model for Page Three and then kept it for other modeling jobs. Despite this she is worshiped in this country, “Grown women idolise her (80% of her 10,000-strong online fan club is female); young girls want to be like her (63% of teenage girls would rather become a topless model than a doctor)” (Lewis). Though many people paint a grim picture of a world that admires such an over sexualized figure, there are people who would consider her a feminist hero. We could say this is a product of a society that calls women empowered for fulfilling male fantasy, but further research suggests this is not entirely true. Last year she went on record saying she was raped by a famous celebrity. She never gave up the name to the Red Tops but in her interviews she admitted to having been raped as a child. In an interview with The Sun she said, “I urge any woman who has been affected by rape and needs help to talk to somebody they trust about it" (Lee). I suspect there is more to her than Page Three, but to be fair it is difficult to see past.
I've also become obsessed Hugh Laurie, who had a comedy show with Stephen Fry in UK. He sang this song called Little Girl and I could swear it's about Ms. Price.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raRQilFcriw
Though even if it isn't, it's still really funny and worth a look!
Starting with Jordan.
Jordan, a glamour model/singer/actress/reality star is an idol of many young girls and women. When attempting to research her importance to pop culture I found a site called UKJordan.com. Turns out it is a porn site and upon entering the site I was bombarded with pop ups for more porn. Apparently that is her significance to British pop culture.
Her real name is Katie Price, she took on the pseudonym Jordan while working as a model for Page Three and then kept it for other modeling jobs. Despite this she is worshiped in this country, “Grown women idolise her (80% of her 10,000-strong online fan club is female); young girls want to be like her (63% of teenage girls would rather become a topless model than a doctor)” (Lewis). Though many people paint a grim picture of a world that admires such an over sexualized figure, there are people who would consider her a feminist hero. We could say this is a product of a society that calls women empowered for fulfilling male fantasy, but further research suggests this is not entirely true. Last year she went on record saying she was raped by a famous celebrity. She never gave up the name to the Red Tops but in her interviews she admitted to having been raped as a child. In an interview with The Sun she said, “I urge any woman who has been affected by rape and needs help to talk to somebody they trust about it" (Lee). I suspect there is more to her than Page Three, but to be fair it is difficult to see past.
I've also become obsessed Hugh Laurie, who had a comedy show with Stephen Fry in UK. He sang this song called Little Girl and I could swear it's about Ms. Price.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raRQilFcriw
Though even if it isn't, it's still really funny and worth a look!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
More on Private Practice
50th post! Yay me!
Anyway back to Erika's blog about tv shows that annoy her.
Private Practice. Sick of it yet? Me too. But I'll keep watching it for god knows what reason. So this week in Charlottes recovery she saw a lawyer who refused to charge her rapist. Sad as this is, it happens. The lawyer, a woman, apparently top of her class at Stanford, never lost a rape case, refused to take on Charlottes case because she was certain it would lose. Charlotte is a sexual deviant (met guys on the internet and had sex with them for fun. God what a whore!) and initially lied to the police about her rape out of shame.
I'm really pissed at this lawyer character. This might sound really cynical but this character is really unrealistic. That a woman get to the top of her class at Stanford and then chooses to work in rape cases is unbelievable. I just don't see that happening. Now that she never lost a rape case is actually a bit believable, only because she picks and chooses which ones are solid cases. Yes, it's true that Charlottes case would be difficult to win. We live in a world where slut shaming is a legitimate tactic in courts. But this lawyer probably only tried a few cases of stranger rape where the rapist broke into the survivors house and then left a shit ton of evidence. This solves the problem of knowing who the rapist is and that tricky problem of women leaving the home. I mean if a woman is raped in her own home, no one can say "well why was she out in the first place?" Which works as well as slut shaming. Blaming the victim of course makes the rest of the world feel safer by saying "this happened to her because she did A, and I would never do that." Cods. Wallop.
Anyway, I'm interested in seeing how the rest of this story plays out. Although, I bet this guy goes out and rapes another woman before he's finally brought to justice.
If the writers want to make it really realistic, they should send him to jail for a month and then let him go. Sad, but true.
Anyway back to Erika's blog about tv shows that annoy her.
Private Practice. Sick of it yet? Me too. But I'll keep watching it for god knows what reason. So this week in Charlottes recovery she saw a lawyer who refused to charge her rapist. Sad as this is, it happens. The lawyer, a woman, apparently top of her class at Stanford, never lost a rape case, refused to take on Charlottes case because she was certain it would lose. Charlotte is a sexual deviant (met guys on the internet and had sex with them for fun. God what a whore!) and initially lied to the police about her rape out of shame.
I'm really pissed at this lawyer character. This might sound really cynical but this character is really unrealistic. That a woman get to the top of her class at Stanford and then chooses to work in rape cases is unbelievable. I just don't see that happening. Now that she never lost a rape case is actually a bit believable, only because she picks and chooses which ones are solid cases. Yes, it's true that Charlottes case would be difficult to win. We live in a world where slut shaming is a legitimate tactic in courts. But this lawyer probably only tried a few cases of stranger rape where the rapist broke into the survivors house and then left a shit ton of evidence. This solves the problem of knowing who the rapist is and that tricky problem of women leaving the home. I mean if a woman is raped in her own home, no one can say "well why was she out in the first place?" Which works as well as slut shaming. Blaming the victim of course makes the rest of the world feel safer by saying "this happened to her because she did A, and I would never do that." Cods. Wallop.
Anyway, I'm interested in seeing how the rest of this story plays out. Although, I bet this guy goes out and rapes another woman before he's finally brought to justice.
If the writers want to make it really realistic, they should send him to jail for a month and then let him go. Sad, but true.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Reclaim the Night
This weekend I went to Reclaim the Night, the British version of Take back the night. Yes, they stole the idea from Americans, yes they had it in November, yes it was freezing! It was very cool though. We walked in the middle of the streets from Embankment to Kings Cross, which took about 2 hours. We chanted "Whatever we wear, where ever we go, yes means yes and no means no!" and "Say hey (hey) ho (ho) Sexual violence has to go!" and my favorite "Women united, will never be defeated!" We also sang clever rhymes. I carried a picket sign that said "Stop violence against women." But I think the best part was the people on the pavement taking pictures and people popping their heads out of their windows either showing support or just seeing what all the noise was about. I felt like I was taking part of something important, important enough for passers-by to take notice.
I do have some complaints about the evening. Maybe it's just cultural differences or maybe it's actual wrongs, I'm not sure. First off the march was womens only by rule. Now I suppose I can sort of justify this. It is a march to support women who have been effected by male violence and to show that we won't stand for it. But the fact of the matter is we can't end male violence against women without the support of men! I think we need men to feel a part of our efforts and excluding them isn't helping anything. That's why I hate the word Pro-feminist. Why can't everyone be a feminist?
I also didn't care for the rally after the march. We all came in from the bitter cold and sat down on the floor to listen to 6 speakers. A few of them talked about the joy of sisterhood we all experienced but mostly they talked about hate. How much they hated the world for allowing violence against women. Now I hate rape as much as the next feminist. It's what got me into feminism in the first place. But these women were all about hate. And maybe it's just a cultural difference but my experience with Take Back the Night as always been one of positive healing energy and support. At JMU we hear survivors stories and then go on a candlelit vigil for other survivors. Yes we hate the abusers, but that's not the focus.
When I created this blog I thought about calling myself an angry feminist. Because I'll tell you what, I am angry. I'm angry that women get paid less than men, I'm angry we've been sold into marriage, I'm angry rape exists, I'm angry about how we're portrayed in the media. But here's the thing. Hate and angry don't do anything but cause more violence and hate. It's a vicious cycle and I would give anything to end it. There's a reason MLK Jr and Ghandi were so effective. I think we all need to take a step back and find a way to combat hate without hate. Isn't that what Harry Potter taught us? lol
I do have some complaints about the evening. Maybe it's just cultural differences or maybe it's actual wrongs, I'm not sure. First off the march was womens only by rule. Now I suppose I can sort of justify this. It is a march to support women who have been effected by male violence and to show that we won't stand for it. But the fact of the matter is we can't end male violence against women without the support of men! I think we need men to feel a part of our efforts and excluding them isn't helping anything. That's why I hate the word Pro-feminist. Why can't everyone be a feminist?
I also didn't care for the rally after the march. We all came in from the bitter cold and sat down on the floor to listen to 6 speakers. A few of them talked about the joy of sisterhood we all experienced but mostly they talked about hate. How much they hated the world for allowing violence against women. Now I hate rape as much as the next feminist. It's what got me into feminism in the first place. But these women were all about hate. And maybe it's just a cultural difference but my experience with Take Back the Night as always been one of positive healing energy and support. At JMU we hear survivors stories and then go on a candlelit vigil for other survivors. Yes we hate the abusers, but that's not the focus.
When I created this blog I thought about calling myself an angry feminist. Because I'll tell you what, I am angry. I'm angry that women get paid less than men, I'm angry we've been sold into marriage, I'm angry rape exists, I'm angry about how we're portrayed in the media. But here's the thing. Hate and angry don't do anything but cause more violence and hate. It's a vicious cycle and I would give anything to end it. There's a reason MLK Jr and Ghandi were so effective. I think we all need to take a step back and find a way to combat hate without hate. Isn't that what Harry Potter taught us? lol
Friday, November 26, 2010
Eve
So I just learned that one of Eve's punishments for eating the apple was to desire her husband and be obedient to him.
"Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” (Genesis 3-4).
Ok seriously? As women, our punishment is to love men who control us? Seriously God?! What is it with you and disobedient women? First Lilith, now Eve. I think I've mentioned Lilith before but if not I'll give the cliffsnotes here. She was supposedly Adam's first wife. They were created from the same earth and therefore were equal. When she refused to be subservient to him, she left the garden forever. She, like Lucifer, became a demon in hell.
Of course another punishment is that childbirth would really hurt. But this means that loving men is supposed to be as painful as labor? What?! How is that right at all? How are we supposed to believe in a perfect, all loving God who would do this?
I remember once when I used to go to church, I heard this story of a journalist who wanted to dissect the Bible to prove it's fraud. But when he dove into it, he found he couldn't. He became a Christian. Did he just skip over this part? Or is it proof that Christianity supports patriarchy and he, as a man, just benefitted more from the word of God?
On a somewhat related note, I was just thinking about how the apple open Eve and Adams eyes and showed them they were naked. Isn't this proof God wants us to be naked all the time? Also it's proof that we as a people have over sexualized the human body. If you believe in the Christian God (which for the record I do not), then you should accept that nakedness is natural and the less clothes you wear, the closer to God you are. But of course Christians are the ones who call me a slut for not wearing a bra.
"Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” (Genesis 3-4).
Ok seriously? As women, our punishment is to love men who control us? Seriously God?! What is it with you and disobedient women? First Lilith, now Eve. I think I've mentioned Lilith before but if not I'll give the cliffsnotes here. She was supposedly Adam's first wife. They were created from the same earth and therefore were equal. When she refused to be subservient to him, she left the garden forever. She, like Lucifer, became a demon in hell.
Of course another punishment is that childbirth would really hurt. But this means that loving men is supposed to be as painful as labor? What?! How is that right at all? How are we supposed to believe in a perfect, all loving God who would do this?
I remember once when I used to go to church, I heard this story of a journalist who wanted to dissect the Bible to prove it's fraud. But when he dove into it, he found he couldn't. He became a Christian. Did he just skip over this part? Or is it proof that Christianity supports patriarchy and he, as a man, just benefitted more from the word of God?
On a somewhat related note, I was just thinking about how the apple open Eve and Adams eyes and showed them they were naked. Isn't this proof God wants us to be naked all the time? Also it's proof that we as a people have over sexualized the human body. If you believe in the Christian God (which for the record I do not), then you should accept that nakedness is natural and the less clothes you wear, the closer to God you are. But of course Christians are the ones who call me a slut for not wearing a bra.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
BBC Four
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hbw8q3mrmXs
I just love the Dad saying she's had a charmed life so what's she bitching about?
I really try to be rational about feminism. I don't like to get angry because of course that just shuts people down and no one wins. But there is something that can send me into a fit and that's rape and sexual assault. Now I've never been raped. And when I first got into rape crisis, I didn't really know anyone who'd been raped. So what I'm saying is it wasn't personal. It wasn't something I did out of love for a specific person or to help myself heal (not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm so very proud of all the survivors who are willing to brave triggers to help women, you are my heros). My activism was something I did out of the horror of realizing this really happens. It happens to at least 25% of women in the world. And it can only happen in a world that hates women. And we do live in that world. Just watch the latest episode of Private Practice and you'll see. I'm sad to say I completely understand the rapists reasoning. I mean he's not just a random psycho. I can absolutely see this happening in real life. And isn't that the scariest thing you've ever thought.
Rape makes me angry. I can't believe we as a culture have allowed it to exist for so long. But that's what patriarchy is. Its a system that allows rape by protecting men through any means necessary. Whether it's calling women liars, slut shaming, or only sending 5% of convicted rapists to jail. And that's why I'm a feminist. I recognize that individual men are not to blame, patriarchy is. And I have hope that I will see a world without patriarchy and without rape.
I just love the Dad saying she's had a charmed life so what's she bitching about?
I really try to be rational about feminism. I don't like to get angry because of course that just shuts people down and no one wins. But there is something that can send me into a fit and that's rape and sexual assault. Now I've never been raped. And when I first got into rape crisis, I didn't really know anyone who'd been raped. So what I'm saying is it wasn't personal. It wasn't something I did out of love for a specific person or to help myself heal (not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm so very proud of all the survivors who are willing to brave triggers to help women, you are my heros). My activism was something I did out of the horror of realizing this really happens. It happens to at least 25% of women in the world. And it can only happen in a world that hates women. And we do live in that world. Just watch the latest episode of Private Practice and you'll see. I'm sad to say I completely understand the rapists reasoning. I mean he's not just a random psycho. I can absolutely see this happening in real life. And isn't that the scariest thing you've ever thought.
Rape makes me angry. I can't believe we as a culture have allowed it to exist for so long. But that's what patriarchy is. Its a system that allows rape by protecting men through any means necessary. Whether it's calling women liars, slut shaming, or only sending 5% of convicted rapists to jail. And that's why I'm a feminist. I recognize that individual men are not to blame, patriarchy is. And I have hope that I will see a world without patriarchy and without rape.
feminist stands for pure evil
http://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/swiss_news/Swiss_stage_world_s_first_antifeminism_event.html?cid=28666110
You know what's really funny about this?
He created this group because he got the shittiest end of the shit stick in his divorce case and was unable to see his daughter for 6 years. And apparently most men's rights groups use this example that men are often discriminated against in custody cases. But heres the thing, I'm willing to bet that judges give children to the mother because she has been staying home with them and he's been working. He doesn't see them except for 20% of the day. BUT if women had equality and were able to work as often as men, there wouldn't be such a clear contender for custody would there?
AH-HAH! Beat you didn't I?!
You know what's really funny about this?
He created this group because he got the shittiest end of the shit stick in his divorce case and was unable to see his daughter for 6 years. And apparently most men's rights groups use this example that men are often discriminated against in custody cases. But heres the thing, I'm willing to bet that judges give children to the mother because she has been staying home with them and he's been working. He doesn't see them except for 20% of the day. BUT if women had equality and were able to work as often as men, there wouldn't be such a clear contender for custody would there?
AH-HAH! Beat you didn't I?!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
It's about equality. Period.
So this blog could really be titled: Erika comments on sexism in tv shows
On that note, How I Met Your Mother! Excellent show! Especially this week. The theme was challenging the idea that women are sexy when they behave like little girls and that strong, independent women are less attractive to men.
Summary: Ted laments to Robin that she was too strong in their relationship. He needed to feel needed. So he starts dating Becky, who talks and acts like a child. Becky allows Ted to take care of her by paying for ice cream, tying her shoe and killing spiders. Becky encourages this behavior by speaking in "baby talk" and generally acting incapable. Ted much prefers feeling needed to feeling submissive. Gee, I can't imagine how that feels. Can you?
This isn't the first time I've seen this scenario play out on tv. On Reba, Brock left Reba for his secretary (or something) because she couldn't figure out the toaster. So he got to be the big hero and bring the toast to the breakfast table. On Desperate Housewives, Lynette is constantly being forced into a subservient role by her husband Tom because he just can't handle a dominant woman.
So basically this boils down to the masculinity crisis. Men are supposed to be protectors and in charge of women, who are obviously weaker and can't handle themselves.
I can understand this, a little. Obviously no one wants to feel like power is being taken from them. I know I hate to be bossed around or made to feel like I can't make proper decisions. This is why I advocate partnerships, were equality is afforded to each person. That way no one feels belittled and everybody wins.
But the fact is, at least on the tv shows I watch, it's always the men in the relationships getting upset that they have no power or control. This not only reinforces the status quo, it teaches the next generation that strong women are taking something from men. Also that normal men dislike strong women so if you want a date to prom, you best behave like you should.
But here is why HIMYM rules. At the very end of the episode, Robin asks Barney (NPH) if she made him feel unneeded in their relationship, to which he responds, "Yes. You are the least needy girl I've ever banged." He goes on to further compliment her, calling her strong and powerful, which makes her all the more beautiful. The end message is clear. Independent women are in, women who act like babies are out. Seriously, who wants a clingy, needy partner? Not me. It's not fair to expect your partner to take care of you and it's equally dumb to expect to take care of your partner. Why wouldn't you want to date a functioning adult? Seriously, kids are going to be hard enough, no one needs to date one.
Here's the deal though. These men are complaining about something women have been putting up with for centuries. For some reason we were made to accept the fact that we had no control over our lives. Our fathers still give us away at weddings to another man who can provide for and take care of us. So now that men are being given the tiniest taste of that, they freak out and demand their power back. That's the reason feminists are so feared, isn't it? We represent a movement to take some of our power back, which feels to men that we're taking something away (even though it's something not rightfully theirs).
As I see it women have three ways of dealing with this situation. We can 1) give all our power to men and watch them fuck everything up again, 2) go ape shit crazy and band together to create a matriarchy or 3) compromise. Why can't we all agree that being powerless is a terrible feeling? Let's all take a moment and realize that if we don't do it to each other, no one has to feel that way.
On that note, How I Met Your Mother! Excellent show! Especially this week. The theme was challenging the idea that women are sexy when they behave like little girls and that strong, independent women are less attractive to men.
Summary: Ted laments to Robin that she was too strong in their relationship. He needed to feel needed. So he starts dating Becky, who talks and acts like a child. Becky allows Ted to take care of her by paying for ice cream, tying her shoe and killing spiders. Becky encourages this behavior by speaking in "baby talk" and generally acting incapable. Ted much prefers feeling needed to feeling submissive. Gee, I can't imagine how that feels. Can you?
This isn't the first time I've seen this scenario play out on tv. On Reba, Brock left Reba for his secretary (or something) because she couldn't figure out the toaster. So he got to be the big hero and bring the toast to the breakfast table. On Desperate Housewives, Lynette is constantly being forced into a subservient role by her husband Tom because he just can't handle a dominant woman.
So basically this boils down to the masculinity crisis. Men are supposed to be protectors and in charge of women, who are obviously weaker and can't handle themselves.
I can understand this, a little. Obviously no one wants to feel like power is being taken from them. I know I hate to be bossed around or made to feel like I can't make proper decisions. This is why I advocate partnerships, were equality is afforded to each person. That way no one feels belittled and everybody wins.
But the fact is, at least on the tv shows I watch, it's always the men in the relationships getting upset that they have no power or control. This not only reinforces the status quo, it teaches the next generation that strong women are taking something from men. Also that normal men dislike strong women so if you want a date to prom, you best behave like you should.
But here is why HIMYM rules. At the very end of the episode, Robin asks Barney (NPH) if she made him feel unneeded in their relationship, to which he responds, "Yes. You are the least needy girl I've ever banged." He goes on to further compliment her, calling her strong and powerful, which makes her all the more beautiful. The end message is clear. Independent women are in, women who act like babies are out. Seriously, who wants a clingy, needy partner? Not me. It's not fair to expect your partner to take care of you and it's equally dumb to expect to take care of your partner. Why wouldn't you want to date a functioning adult? Seriously, kids are going to be hard enough, no one needs to date one.
Here's the deal though. These men are complaining about something women have been putting up with for centuries. For some reason we were made to accept the fact that we had no control over our lives. Our fathers still give us away at weddings to another man who can provide for and take care of us. So now that men are being given the tiniest taste of that, they freak out and demand their power back. That's the reason feminists are so feared, isn't it? We represent a movement to take some of our power back, which feels to men that we're taking something away (even though it's something not rightfully theirs).
As I see it women have three ways of dealing with this situation. We can 1) give all our power to men and watch them fuck everything up again, 2) go ape shit crazy and band together to create a matriarchy or 3) compromise. Why can't we all agree that being powerless is a terrible feeling? Let's all take a moment and realize that if we don't do it to each other, no one has to feel that way.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
shame on you Glee
I never EVER thought I'd ever have a bad thing to say about Glee. With all their wonderful work with homophobia I can't believe they'd allow this sort of publicity
http://nerve.com/scanner/2010/10/19/glee-stars-go-full-on-sexy-in-the-locker-room-for-gq
Actually, take that back. I can believe it. Anyone who knows feminism knows we fight homophobia and heterosexism like it's our business. Because it is our business. But not all gay rights activists are feminists. It's tragic really. We're all fighting the same system of oppression. It's not like patriarchy allows lesbianism! There's a reason why feminist and lesbian are used in the same sentence to deter women from women's rights activism. But for some reason even Lady Gaga shrinks from the F-word: http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2010/03/11/is-lady-gaga-a-feminist-or-isnt-she/
Anyway, I love you Lea Michelle and Dianna Argon but seriously I can't believe you'd do this. I respected and admired you. Such talent, I would die to have made such success with musical theatre. You all had such an opportunity to be successful female singers without giving in to the terrible objectification but you didn't. You all pooped on that.
I was chatting with some new feminist friends of mine about an Newton quote. He said "we are like dwarfs standing on the shoulders of giants." Basically that means the greatest male minds of the time had a detailed history of academia to go off of. Women have no giants. Sure those of us that look for them can say Alice Paul, Florence Kennedy, Toni Morrison, Jane Austen, and others. But you have to dig to really know how wonderful these women were/are. Instead this is what we see from women we respect. This is what is reported. We are constantly reminded that the best we can hope to achieve is to pose half naked with a man.
It's not fair. And I hate it. And while it won't stop me from watching Glee (because.. come on.), I do seriously wag my finger at their press agents and hope they all get sacked. What the hell?
http://nerve.com/scanner/2010/10/19/glee-stars-go-full-on-sexy-in-the-locker-room-for-gq
Actually, take that back. I can believe it. Anyone who knows feminism knows we fight homophobia and heterosexism like it's our business. Because it is our business. But not all gay rights activists are feminists. It's tragic really. We're all fighting the same system of oppression. It's not like patriarchy allows lesbianism! There's a reason why feminist and lesbian are used in the same sentence to deter women from women's rights activism. But for some reason even Lady Gaga shrinks from the F-word: http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2010/03/11/is-lady-gaga-a-feminist-or-isnt-she/
Anyway, I love you Lea Michelle and Dianna Argon but seriously I can't believe you'd do this. I respected and admired you. Such talent, I would die to have made such success with musical theatre. You all had such an opportunity to be successful female singers without giving in to the terrible objectification but you didn't. You all pooped on that.
I was chatting with some new feminist friends of mine about an Newton quote. He said "we are like dwarfs standing on the shoulders of giants." Basically that means the greatest male minds of the time had a detailed history of academia to go off of. Women have no giants. Sure those of us that look for them can say Alice Paul, Florence Kennedy, Toni Morrison, Jane Austen, and others. But you have to dig to really know how wonderful these women were/are. Instead this is what we see from women we respect. This is what is reported. We are constantly reminded that the best we can hope to achieve is to pose half naked with a man.
It's not fair. And I hate it. And while it won't stop me from watching Glee (because.. come on.), I do seriously wag my finger at their press agents and hope they all get sacked. What the hell?
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Is that bad?
So we got to Bath and a few of us went out. We went to a pub and a club and then another club where we stayed and danced for about 2 and half hours. It was really fun for the most part. I do feel a lot of men were looking at me, which always makes me uncomfortable, but if you don’t make eye contact they don’t approach you. Unfortunately when I volunteered to watch the coats two men/boys (they were probably 18) sat down with me and started chatting me up. We talked about really frivolous stuff for a while and then one of them started asking me how long I was in town and what I was doing the next day. Then he leaned in and obviously wanted to kiss me. I giggled and looked away, unsure of what to do. So I told a lie. I said, “Just so you know, because I feel like you’re trying to hit on me, I’m gay.” I figured it would be the best way to get him to back off. I did think to say I'm already involved but I wanted to be sure that he knew he had no chance with me (I wanted him to be able to chat up another girl who might have fancied him). Unfortunately I was wrong. Thus started quite possibly the saddest conversation of my life. He said things like, “I don’t believe you, you’re too pretty to be a lesbian” and “I don’t care, I’d fuck you anyway.” This boy asked me if I’d ever tried the other side, if I’d had a bad experience with a man, and why I was a lesbian. I told him to first tell me why he was straight. He asked if he could buy me a drink, most likely to get me drunk enough to get into bed with him.
Now he was super pissed (by which I mean drunk), but the fact that he didn’t get the message that I don’t consent to this is so much bigger than my lie. We live in patriarchal world that says lesbians aren’t real women because they don’t like to please men. Men, who run the show, can’t handle that knowledge. So if a woman is attractive, she must only be so because she wants to get a man. And if a woman is ugly a man doesn’t want her anyway, so her only option is to be with other unattractive lesbians. Sure, that makes sense.
He eventually left to go to the loo and I made my escape to the dance floor. I saw him once but refused to make eye contact. Like I said, if you don’t make eye contact they don’t bother you.
--
What I'm really struggling with is the idea that maybe I've committed a horrible crime against the gay community. Does this make me a really bad ally? In hindsight it probably wasn’t the best decision I ever made. I hope all my homosexual friends will forgive my exploiting their sexuality for my own benefit.
I can say that I learned a lot by assuming the position of a lesbian if even for a few minutes. I can't believe people say things like "you're too pretty to be a lesbian." I think I'd go a little crazy if drunk men consistently said this to me, fully expecting me to be complimented and wooed. His homophobia was so very clear and it's such a clear sign that heterosexism is at large. It means that heterosexual men are convinced that gay women don't exist. They just haven't met the right guy.
Personally I've never been more inspired to fight back so I guess good did come out of it even if what I did was wrong.
Any thoughts from the peanut gallery? Feel free to be brutally honest!
Now he was super pissed (by which I mean drunk), but the fact that he didn’t get the message that I don’t consent to this is so much bigger than my lie. We live in patriarchal world that says lesbians aren’t real women because they don’t like to please men. Men, who run the show, can’t handle that knowledge. So if a woman is attractive, she must only be so because she wants to get a man. And if a woman is ugly a man doesn’t want her anyway, so her only option is to be with other unattractive lesbians. Sure, that makes sense.
He eventually left to go to the loo and I made my escape to the dance floor. I saw him once but refused to make eye contact. Like I said, if you don’t make eye contact they don’t bother you.
--
What I'm really struggling with is the idea that maybe I've committed a horrible crime against the gay community. Does this make me a really bad ally? In hindsight it probably wasn’t the best decision I ever made. I hope all my homosexual friends will forgive my exploiting their sexuality for my own benefit.
I can say that I learned a lot by assuming the position of a lesbian if even for a few minutes. I can't believe people say things like "you're too pretty to be a lesbian." I think I'd go a little crazy if drunk men consistently said this to me, fully expecting me to be complimented and wooed. His homophobia was so very clear and it's such a clear sign that heterosexism is at large. It means that heterosexual men are convinced that gay women don't exist. They just haven't met the right guy.
Personally I've never been more inspired to fight back so I guess good did come out of it even if what I did was wrong.
Any thoughts from the peanut gallery? Feel free to be brutally honest!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
"Feminism is the radical notion that [trans]women are people."
I absolutely love when popular shows take on tough subjects. Last week Private Practice featured a transwoman looking for a gender reassignment surgery. The woman, named Jane, is a beautiful black woman who has always felt trapped in her male body. She attempted suicide once when she was younger, but now that she has the means to get surgery, she completed the necessary steps (including a year of therapy) in order to get approved. One of the things she said in her last bit of script time really struck me and reminded me why I'm a feminist. She said "I want the world to see me the way I see myself. I'll be able to bond with women and flirt with men, instead of feeling socially homeless."
This is a product of sexism, heterosexism and patriarchy. The same gender police who tell me to wear a bra or that it's wrong to go out without shaving my legs are the people telling these men and women that it's wrong to deviate from their sex. Such bull shit. This character, Jane, talks about losing friends and getting passed over for jobs and while they might not outwardly say why, in this world the message is too clear. You see, feminism is not only about getting the ERA passed or getting women into the public sphere. It's about fighting for all women. Too often transwomen are forgotten, but they are women too and they have it worse.
My professor today reminded me that in regards to race we assume that white is the default and everyone else must be qualified. In patricarchy it's the same with gender. We assume titles belong to men so we must qualify them by saying the woman professor, the female doctor, etc. We don't like to think about the transgender community because they are the most obvious and least accepted of the gender deviants. We can't pretend they're heterosexual like we can with the homosexual community, we can't just slut shame a transgender women for not wearing a bra like we can a female woman. We have to acknowledge the fact that these transmen and women are different. And different in a way our society hates. It's "unnatural," it's "against god," etc. But whatever you believe, you must accept that they are people. They have hearts and minds and souls and are hurting from the pain of being trapped. They, more than anyone in my humble opinion, need the world to stand up for them and make sure that the pain stops. That the hate crimes stop. That they are given the same rights as anyone else. Because they're people too.
This is a product of sexism, heterosexism and patriarchy. The same gender police who tell me to wear a bra or that it's wrong to go out without shaving my legs are the people telling these men and women that it's wrong to deviate from their sex. Such bull shit. This character, Jane, talks about losing friends and getting passed over for jobs and while they might not outwardly say why, in this world the message is too clear. You see, feminism is not only about getting the ERA passed or getting women into the public sphere. It's about fighting for all women. Too often transwomen are forgotten, but they are women too and they have it worse.
My professor today reminded me that in regards to race we assume that white is the default and everyone else must be qualified. In patricarchy it's the same with gender. We assume titles belong to men so we must qualify them by saying the woman professor, the female doctor, etc. We don't like to think about the transgender community because they are the most obvious and least accepted of the gender deviants. We can't pretend they're heterosexual like we can with the homosexual community, we can't just slut shame a transgender women for not wearing a bra like we can a female woman. We have to acknowledge the fact that these transmen and women are different. And different in a way our society hates. It's "unnatural," it's "against god," etc. But whatever you believe, you must accept that they are people. They have hearts and minds and souls and are hurting from the pain of being trapped. They, more than anyone in my humble opinion, need the world to stand up for them and make sure that the pain stops. That the hate crimes stop. That they are given the same rights as anyone else. Because they're people too.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
St Agnes
Today I felt restless so I put on some music and went to the British Museum to wander around. I found myself in a room of Medieval Europe looking at coins and armor. But the thing that caught my eye was this golden cup with painted scenes of St Agnes. I thought I might share her story with you all cause it's a great one.
So this chick Agnes was, like most women, told to marry this old guy. She refused and so she was sent to work at a brothel. Now being the good catholic girl she was, she did not consent to having sex with anyone who came in. So one day this guy comes in, pays his money and tries to rape her. Surprisingly this demon comes out of no where to strangle him for his crime. She, being a good catholic girl, forgives the man and brings him back to life. The people of the town cry WITCH and have her burned at the stake. The flames don't burn her because she's not a witch so this random guy spears her in the throat, which does kill her.
tada! great story to paint on a gold ceremonial cup yea?
So this chick Agnes was, like most women, told to marry this old guy. She refused and so she was sent to work at a brothel. Now being the good catholic girl she was, she did not consent to having sex with anyone who came in. So one day this guy comes in, pays his money and tries to rape her. Surprisingly this demon comes out of no where to strangle him for his crime. She, being a good catholic girl, forgives the man and brings him back to life. The people of the town cry WITCH and have her burned at the stake. The flames don't burn her because she's not a witch so this random guy spears her in the throat, which does kill her.
tada! great story to paint on a gold ceremonial cup yea?
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
The declining morality of children
For the record, the title is ironic...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYRIYL5uP6w&feature=player_embedded#!
So ok, many of you may have heard about/seen this video of 11-year-old girls dancing to Single Ladies. Everyone and their mother has given their opinion. I hadn't seen it until this very morning, I never sought it out. But there it was this morning on my mini-feed so I clicked play to see what all the fuss was about.
Now, as a feminist, you probably assume I have a problem with this video. You'd be right. But right now, I'm not even angry or annoyed or put off. I'm sad. This is so sad.
A lot of the commenters on youtube talk about the girls costumes as if that's what's wrong. I've been an 11-year-old girl and I can tell you that all I wanted at that time was to dress like that. I understand the appeal to a young girl.
My main issue is with the overall theme of the performance, which is of course sex. These girls are so talented. They are so young and already have such an amazing set of dancing skills. These girls are doing triple pirouettes, they're so flexible, they have amazing control of their bodies. However, the only thing that stands out from their performance is their use of sex. The only reason they've gotten such national attention is because they exploited their sexuality. It's the same with many adult female performers. I've written about it a couple of times on here and this is just more evidence.
Now I personally don't like this song (because I think if he liked it then he should have loved, cherished and respected it. Nothing is secured just because he put a ring on it.) But this song is not about sex. We could go as far as to say the song is about love, but if nothing else, it's about commitment, or rather the symbol of commitment. Sadly these girls (or whomever choreographed this dance) have sexualized a song that could be interpreted as empowered. Beyonce is standing up for what she wants: marriage. And won't settle for anything less. But this choreography is all about fulfilling heterosexual male fantasies. There is nothing empowered about 11 year old girls shaking their breasts and asses. That's child pornography.
Which leads me to my second problem with the video: the sexualization of children. Who in heavens name would find this appropriate or sexually appealing? Sickos, that's who. But as I've said a couple of times before, women are constantly treated as children in this society especially where sex is involved. Seriously, how many porns are there of professors and school girls? And we're supposed to shave our pubic hair like when we were prepubescent and be so skinny we don't menstruate.
So remember, pedophilia is a disease. Like cancer. You wouldn't date someone with cancer, right? (ps that's a Midwest teen sex show joke. I highly recommend the series, quite hilarious!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYRIYL5uP6w&feature=player_embedded#!
So ok, many of you may have heard about/seen this video of 11-year-old girls dancing to Single Ladies. Everyone and their mother has given their opinion. I hadn't seen it until this very morning, I never sought it out. But there it was this morning on my mini-feed so I clicked play to see what all the fuss was about.
Now, as a feminist, you probably assume I have a problem with this video. You'd be right. But right now, I'm not even angry or annoyed or put off. I'm sad. This is so sad.
A lot of the commenters on youtube talk about the girls costumes as if that's what's wrong. I've been an 11-year-old girl and I can tell you that all I wanted at that time was to dress like that. I understand the appeal to a young girl.
My main issue is with the overall theme of the performance, which is of course sex. These girls are so talented. They are so young and already have such an amazing set of dancing skills. These girls are doing triple pirouettes, they're so flexible, they have amazing control of their bodies. However, the only thing that stands out from their performance is their use of sex. The only reason they've gotten such national attention is because they exploited their sexuality. It's the same with many adult female performers. I've written about it a couple of times on here and this is just more evidence.
Now I personally don't like this song (because I think if he liked it then he should have loved, cherished and respected it. Nothing is secured just because he put a ring on it.) But this song is not about sex. We could go as far as to say the song is about love, but if nothing else, it's about commitment, or rather the symbol of commitment. Sadly these girls (or whomever choreographed this dance) have sexualized a song that could be interpreted as empowered. Beyonce is standing up for what she wants: marriage. And won't settle for anything less. But this choreography is all about fulfilling heterosexual male fantasies. There is nothing empowered about 11 year old girls shaking their breasts and asses. That's child pornography.
Which leads me to my second problem with the video: the sexualization of children. Who in heavens name would find this appropriate or sexually appealing? Sickos, that's who. But as I've said a couple of times before, women are constantly treated as children in this society especially where sex is involved. Seriously, how many porns are there of professors and school girls? And we're supposed to shave our pubic hair like when we were prepubescent and be so skinny we don't menstruate.
So remember, pedophilia is a disease. Like cancer. You wouldn't date someone with cancer, right? (ps that's a Midwest teen sex show joke. I highly recommend the series, quite hilarious!)
Monday, September 20, 2010
Isabelle settled herself, luxuriously, on the feeling of impalement...
I'm reading this book called Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks. My professor assured the class that it was a both a captivating and steamy read. Mostly I've just been laughing, which is not the reaction I think good old Faulks intended.
Isabelle and Stephen are having a tawdry affair (she's married, he's 20). We the readers are told in great detail exactly how their first romp in the bed turns out. This sex scene is just so obviously written by a man. Women don't compare sex to being impaled. Another really funny bit was after he performed oral sex on her, she orgasmed but then thought to herself, He's still not fucked me yet. "The joy is still to come." Seriously? She has just climaxed but still she's not experienced any joy because she's not been impaled yet? Isn't that just like a man to think that his penis is what a woman REALLY wants.
Just think about all the violent language associated with sex. And, in heterosexual sex, it's always the woman who is the victim. A woman gets banged, screwed, nailed, etc and men are always the perpetrators. This type of language is definitely misogynistic. There's no denying that. So I think I'm right in being put off (and not turned on) by the imagery of Isabelle being impaled by Stephen's dick.
Now before you roll your eyes and write me off, let me tell you my first red flag from this book and maybe you'll understand my distaste. The issue of consent is very near and dear to my heart. I will fight the rape culture for as long as it takes to ensure no woman, man, or child has to fear sexual assault. So knowing this, imagine me reaction to the beginning of this raunchy sex scene. "She pulled away from him and ran from the room. Stephen went to the window and held on to the frame as he looked out. The force that drove through him could not be stopped. The part of his mind that remained calm accepted this; if the necessity could not be denied, then the question was only whether it could be achieved with her consent" (pg 58).
As you could possibly imagine, I had a difficult time getting into the mood after reading that. I cannot believe the "calm" part of his mind rationalized raping Isabelle. This just reinforces the idea that women say no at first so we don't seem slutty. I promise you this, if a woman says no, she means no. Not yes. No never means yes. Unless you're into bdsm in which case pumpernickel (or whatever your code word is) means no.
Isabelle and Stephen are having a tawdry affair (she's married, he's 20). We the readers are told in great detail exactly how their first romp in the bed turns out. This sex scene is just so obviously written by a man. Women don't compare sex to being impaled. Another really funny bit was after he performed oral sex on her, she orgasmed but then thought to herself, He's still not fucked me yet. "The joy is still to come." Seriously? She has just climaxed but still she's not experienced any joy because she's not been impaled yet? Isn't that just like a man to think that his penis is what a woman REALLY wants.
Just think about all the violent language associated with sex. And, in heterosexual sex, it's always the woman who is the victim. A woman gets banged, screwed, nailed, etc and men are always the perpetrators. This type of language is definitely misogynistic. There's no denying that. So I think I'm right in being put off (and not turned on) by the imagery of Isabelle being impaled by Stephen's dick.
Now before you roll your eyes and write me off, let me tell you my first red flag from this book and maybe you'll understand my distaste. The issue of consent is very near and dear to my heart. I will fight the rape culture for as long as it takes to ensure no woman, man, or child has to fear sexual assault. So knowing this, imagine me reaction to the beginning of this raunchy sex scene. "She pulled away from him and ran from the room. Stephen went to the window and held on to the frame as he looked out. The force that drove through him could not be stopped. The part of his mind that remained calm accepted this; if the necessity could not be denied, then the question was only whether it could be achieved with her consent" (pg 58).
As you could possibly imagine, I had a difficult time getting into the mood after reading that. I cannot believe the "calm" part of his mind rationalized raping Isabelle. This just reinforces the idea that women say no at first so we don't seem slutty. I promise you this, if a woman says no, she means no. Not yes. No never means yes. Unless you're into bdsm in which case pumpernickel (or whatever your code word is) means no.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
On not wearing a bra
Spend 5 minutes with me and you'll soon realize that I'm not wearing a bra. My lack of undergarments steams from one reason and one reason alone: I find them uncomfortable. Now i realize that many women will be unable to comprehend this, but I assure you that for my entire life of owning bras I have hated them. I feel like I can't breathe and they do nothing but make my girls look bigger (therefore it is "sluttier" of me to wear a bra).
Tonight at a club I had a conversation with a drunken girl I thought was a nice, chill person:
Girl: You're wearing a bra tonight!
Me: yep
Girl: that's so great! can i ask you something? Why don't you wear a bra usually?
Me: cause it hurts
Girl: oh, i thought it was a feminism thing
Me: Well I am a feminist, but that's not why i don't wear a bra
GIrl: I thought it was a bra burning thing. Cause you wear heels but not a bra so I was really confused!
Me: you obviously don't know anything about feminism
This just fucking pissed me off. Feminism is equal to lack of bras? God some people. If you don't know what something's about, shut the fuck up. And if you're too ignorant to know that you don't fully understand something, shut the fuck up.
I would just love for someone to once, ONCE, ask me a god damned question about feminism instead of hearing the word and making assumptions. Feminism is so complicated and interesting and has NOTHING (I repeat NOTHING) to do with not wearing bras. Even the "bra burning" concept is an invention by non-feminists. No one burned their bras, a picture of a woman throwing her bra into a trash can was perceived by the papers to be a woman burning her bra. It never actually happened. So shut the fuck up about things you don't know. You don't see me shouting off commonly held misperceptions about hinduism, right? Right. Because i know better.
What the fucking hell?
Tonight at a club I had a conversation with a drunken girl I thought was a nice, chill person:
Girl: You're wearing a bra tonight!
Me: yep
Girl: that's so great! can i ask you something? Why don't you wear a bra usually?
Me: cause it hurts
Girl: oh, i thought it was a feminism thing
Me: Well I am a feminist, but that's not why i don't wear a bra
GIrl: I thought it was a bra burning thing. Cause you wear heels but not a bra so I was really confused!
Me: you obviously don't know anything about feminism
This just fucking pissed me off. Feminism is equal to lack of bras? God some people. If you don't know what something's about, shut the fuck up. And if you're too ignorant to know that you don't fully understand something, shut the fuck up.
I would just love for someone to once, ONCE, ask me a god damned question about feminism instead of hearing the word and making assumptions. Feminism is so complicated and interesting and has NOTHING (I repeat NOTHING) to do with not wearing bras. Even the "bra burning" concept is an invention by non-feminists. No one burned their bras, a picture of a woman throwing her bra into a trash can was perceived by the papers to be a woman burning her bra. It never actually happened. So shut the fuck up about things you don't know. You don't see me shouting off commonly held misperceptions about hinduism, right? Right. Because i know better.
What the fucking hell?
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Beautiful Disaster
So I just discovered this song via Pandora and I'm in love! I wish I'd known this song in high school because it completely articulates every feeling I had back then.
Right now I'm just in love with the line "Every magazine tells her she's not good enough, the pictures that she sees make her cry." So true. That's why I don't read those things anymore and I implore you to do the same!
Well here's the music video, I love it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eWDZqc7lCc
Right now I'm just in love with the line "Every magazine tells her she's not good enough, the pictures that she sees make her cry." So true. That's why I don't read those things anymore and I implore you to do the same!
Well here's the music video, I love it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eWDZqc7lCc
Friday, August 27, 2010
Love this!
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/10/rape-culture-101.html
She says everything I want to and exactly as I would say it!
She says everything I want to and exactly as I would say it!
Monday, August 23, 2010
This is funny! and also really scary...
http://www.textually.org/textually/archives/2009/08/024332.htm
Sunday, August 22, 2010
So brilliant!
Whitney Cummings is awesome. I'm not sure whether or not she identifies as a feminist, but she is certainly pro-women.
She also agrees with my stance on the infantilization of women. She talks about the school girl fantasy as making women into little children. Also shaving bald and spanking.
She talks about street harassment and how you never find a happy couple who met because he yelled obscene comments at her from the back of his friends pick-up truck while she was out jogging.
Then she talks about how much effort women make to be beautiful. "[It's] ridiculous because women are naturally beautiful, right? You guys (by which she means girls) don't need any make-up. Women wake up in the morning and are naturally beautiful. Period. You guys (by which she means boys) are disgusting." And "if we don't shave, we're lesbians." Becuase of course straight women only do things men find attractive. So if a women does something men consider to be a turn off, she's obviously actively trying to be unattractive to them.
Anyway, love her. Want more!
She also agrees with my stance on the infantilization of women. She talks about the school girl fantasy as making women into little children. Also shaving bald and spanking.
She talks about street harassment and how you never find a happy couple who met because he yelled obscene comments at her from the back of his friends pick-up truck while she was out jogging.
Then she talks about how much effort women make to be beautiful. "[It's] ridiculous because women are naturally beautiful, right? You guys (by which she means girls) don't need any make-up. Women wake up in the morning and are naturally beautiful. Period. You guys (by which she means boys) are disgusting." And "if we don't shave, we're lesbians." Becuase of course straight women only do things men find attractive. So if a women does something men consider to be a turn off, she's obviously actively trying to be unattractive to them.
Anyway, love her. Want more!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
seriously Rihanna?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U
Music video for Love the Way you Lie. I'd actually never listened to this song because I don't really like rap but I did finally and it's awful.
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. But that's alright because I like the way it hurts" No. No you don't like the way it hurts. So ok, seriously Rihanna? You were in an abusive relationship. How could you do this song? It has no point, there's no happy ending or lesson to it, just a man who's so fucking damaged that he lashes out on someone he loves. "I laid hands on her. I'll never stoop so low again. I guess I don't know my own strength." Yes you do. What you don't know is your strength is not for hurting. I can't believe that anyone would rather be in an abusive relationship than a loving one. I mean which is better: being constantly torn down or constantly built up? Please someone explain to me because I honestly do seek to understand and right now it is baffling.
And the song ends with "I just want her back. I know I'm a liar. If she ever tries to fucking leave again I'mma tie her to the bed and set the house on fire." Right, perfect. Then Rihanna says again "i like the way you lie."
I've said it before, if you're in an abusive relationship, leave. I know it's easier said than done. But I swear to god you're better than your partner. You deserve more no matter what he/she says.
Music video for Love the Way you Lie. I'd actually never listened to this song because I don't really like rap but I did finally and it's awful.
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. But that's alright because I like the way it hurts" No. No you don't like the way it hurts. So ok, seriously Rihanna? You were in an abusive relationship. How could you do this song? It has no point, there's no happy ending or lesson to it, just a man who's so fucking damaged that he lashes out on someone he loves. "I laid hands on her. I'll never stoop so low again. I guess I don't know my own strength." Yes you do. What you don't know is your strength is not for hurting. I can't believe that anyone would rather be in an abusive relationship than a loving one. I mean which is better: being constantly torn down or constantly built up? Please someone explain to me because I honestly do seek to understand and right now it is baffling.
And the song ends with "I just want her back. I know I'm a liar. If she ever tries to fucking leave again I'mma tie her to the bed and set the house on fire." Right, perfect. Then Rihanna says again "i like the way you lie."
I've said it before, if you're in an abusive relationship, leave. I know it's easier said than done. But I swear to god you're better than your partner. You deserve more no matter what he/she says.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Jenny Craig
So my summer job is over. Now my mornings are spent doing what I used to, watching lifetime in my bathrobe. And with lifetime comes stupid commercials aimed towards depressed housewives and bored college students. The most offensive today is Jenny Craig.
Diets are a business opportunity. It is estimated that the diet industry alone is worth anywhere between 40 to 100 billion (U.S.). CEOs of these companies are rolling in money made from false promises and dangerous drugs. While Jenny Craig doesn't seem to be peddling parasites in pills (oh yea, it's been done), we can see from kirstie alley's yo-yo weight that it doesn't stick once you leave the program.
But my big problem today is with the newest commercial featuring Sara Rue. I was multitasking (on my computer and watching tv!) when the commercial came on. All I heard was a female voice talking about how she was so insecure about her body that she was afraid to leave the house. Now me in my naiveté looked up expecting it to be an ad for eating disorders. For a second I thought the before picture would be of a too skinny women who was so consumed by her body image issues that she sought help. No such luck. Apparently Sara Rue has lost 50 pounds while on Jenny Craig and feels great. I am so disappointed.
Why don't we stop telling women they should be embarrassed by their weight and start telling them to enjoy life, no matter their size!?! It is truly ridiculous the amount of effort people put into making women feel bad about themselves. I hate it. It needs to stop. I mean what the fucking hell?
Diets are a business opportunity. It is estimated that the diet industry alone is worth anywhere between 40 to 100 billion (U.S.). CEOs of these companies are rolling in money made from false promises and dangerous drugs. While Jenny Craig doesn't seem to be peddling parasites in pills (oh yea, it's been done), we can see from kirstie alley's yo-yo weight that it doesn't stick once you leave the program.
But my big problem today is with the newest commercial featuring Sara Rue. I was multitasking (on my computer and watching tv!) when the commercial came on. All I heard was a female voice talking about how she was so insecure about her body that she was afraid to leave the house. Now me in my naiveté looked up expecting it to be an ad for eating disorders. For a second I thought the before picture would be of a too skinny women who was so consumed by her body image issues that she sought help. No such luck. Apparently Sara Rue has lost 50 pounds while on Jenny Craig and feels great. I am so disappointed.
Why don't we stop telling women they should be embarrassed by their weight and start telling them to enjoy life, no matter their size!?! It is truly ridiculous the amount of effort people put into making women feel bad about themselves. I hate it. It needs to stop. I mean what the fucking hell?
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
This is awesome!
"The fetishization of young women (pedophila chic, as some have dubbed it) is a cultural response to men’s anxiety about women’s increasing power. Part of the anti-feminist backlash is the sexualization of the very young."
YES!!! I've been saying this for months!!
http://hugoschwyzer.net/2010/08/11/biology-still-isnt-destiny-on-creating-safe-childhoods-in-an-age-of-ever-earlier-puberty/
YES!!! I've been saying this for months!!
http://hugoschwyzer.net/2010/08/11/biology-still-isnt-destiny-on-creating-safe-childhoods-in-an-age-of-ever-earlier-puberty/
Saturday, August 7, 2010
EWWWWWW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Yp5Nruy9CE
Avery apparently has new shipping labels available at Staples. This is their ad.
There are a couple things wrong with this ad. First, I'm assuming she's a designer so she wouldn't have a mannequin, she'd have a dress form. Second, he tries to make out with a mannequin!! gross. So it's sad for this guy because apparently the only woman he can get is a fake one. BUT at the very end of the commercial, she calls the mannequin "slut." Excuse me? A fake woman with no arms is a slut because a weird guy tried to kiss it? Furthermore that's supposed to be funny? What the hell. that's stupid.
Avery apparently has new shipping labels available at Staples. This is their ad.
There are a couple things wrong with this ad. First, I'm assuming she's a designer so she wouldn't have a mannequin, she'd have a dress form. Second, he tries to make out with a mannequin!! gross. So it's sad for this guy because apparently the only woman he can get is a fake one. BUT at the very end of the commercial, she calls the mannequin "slut." Excuse me? A fake woman with no arms is a slut because a weird guy tried to kiss it? Furthermore that's supposed to be funny? What the hell. that's stupid.
You Think You're Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner
This song scares me. It's about a guy who sees a girl and is really attracted to her. She's ignoring him for whatever reason and he's angry about that.
you got designer shades just to hide your face and you wear them around like you're cooler than me. And you never say hey or remember my name. It's probably cuz, you think you're cooler than me.
Ok this woman is wearing sunglasses so obviously she thinks she's cooler than you. That makes sense. NOT! And if this woman doesn't remember your name, then she is not trying to tease you. She doesn't care about you. She's just not that into you!
I'll never forget my first real life experience with this. I have this male friend (Calling him John) who repeatedly asks me to send him erotic pictures of myself. We are not romantically involved and to be honest we barely speak in person. But our text conversation are always about sex. (not sexting, just talking about sex). Once I had dressed up for this guy I was interested in. I wore a short sleeve turtleneck out of lace and a pale orange cami underneath. I ran into John and he later texted me saying he thought my shirt was see-thru. I told him that was kind of the point. (I was trying to seduce this guy!) he told me that wasn't fair to him cause it's a tease. I don't get this. John is not and never has been the target of my desire so why did it effect him like that? Just like in the song, this girl doesn't even know his name, she's not interested in him. He's the one who's hung up, he should just get over it. I mean, why shouldn't i be able to dress up for a guy I like? Why do i have to worry about how my appearance effects every other man in the room?
One of my favorite essays is called Men on Rape by Tim Beneke. He interviewed men on the subject of rape. The interviewees said the scariest shit i've ever read.
When asked what they thought about sexy women in advertisements one man said, "It makes me hate them. As a man you're taught that men are more powerful than women, and that men always have the upper hand, and that it's a mans society; but then you see all these women and it makes you think 'jesus christ, if we have all the power how come all the beautiful women are telling us what to buy?' And to be honest, it just makes me hate beautiful women because they're using their power over me."
What exactly do you go through when you see a sexy, unavailable woman? " "I think 'Wow, I would love to make love to her,' but i know she's not really interested. It' a tease. A lot of times a woman knows that she's looking really good and she'll use that and flaunt it, and it makes me feel like she's laughing at me and i feel degreaded... It's a feeling of humiliation, because the woman has forced me to turn off my feelings and react in a way that i really don't want to... If i were actually desperate enough to rape somebody, it would be from wanting the person, but it would be a very spiteful thing, just being able to say 'I have power over you and i can do anything i want with you,' because i really feel that they have power over me by they're presence."
This is such bullshit! And i'm not being vain thinking I'm so hot that all men can't resist me. This is legitimately scary for all women. I mean it just takes that one guy to find you attractive and snap. Mike Posner is really scary. I can't believe he got this song on the radio. I can't remember where it is but there's this other essay about how the nice guy is the one that snaps because he's tired of finishing last. I'm afraid for whoever this song is about and I hope to god Posner never acts out violently on his insecurities.
you got designer shades just to hide your face and you wear them around like you're cooler than me. And you never say hey or remember my name. It's probably cuz, you think you're cooler than me.
Ok this woman is wearing sunglasses so obviously she thinks she's cooler than you. That makes sense. NOT! And if this woman doesn't remember your name, then she is not trying to tease you. She doesn't care about you. She's just not that into you!
I'll never forget my first real life experience with this. I have this male friend (Calling him John) who repeatedly asks me to send him erotic pictures of myself. We are not romantically involved and to be honest we barely speak in person. But our text conversation are always about sex. (not sexting, just talking about sex). Once I had dressed up for this guy I was interested in. I wore a short sleeve turtleneck out of lace and a pale orange cami underneath. I ran into John and he later texted me saying he thought my shirt was see-thru. I told him that was kind of the point. (I was trying to seduce this guy!) he told me that wasn't fair to him cause it's a tease. I don't get this. John is not and never has been the target of my desire so why did it effect him like that? Just like in the song, this girl doesn't even know his name, she's not interested in him. He's the one who's hung up, he should just get over it. I mean, why shouldn't i be able to dress up for a guy I like? Why do i have to worry about how my appearance effects every other man in the room?
One of my favorite essays is called Men on Rape by Tim Beneke. He interviewed men on the subject of rape. The interviewees said the scariest shit i've ever read.
When asked what they thought about sexy women in advertisements one man said, "It makes me hate them. As a man you're taught that men are more powerful than women, and that men always have the upper hand, and that it's a mans society; but then you see all these women and it makes you think 'jesus christ, if we have all the power how come all the beautiful women are telling us what to buy?' And to be honest, it just makes me hate beautiful women because they're using their power over me."
What exactly do you go through when you see a sexy, unavailable woman? " "I think 'Wow, I would love to make love to her,' but i know she's not really interested. It' a tease. A lot of times a woman knows that she's looking really good and she'll use that and flaunt it, and it makes me feel like she's laughing at me and i feel degreaded... It's a feeling of humiliation, because the woman has forced me to turn off my feelings and react in a way that i really don't want to... If i were actually desperate enough to rape somebody, it would be from wanting the person, but it would be a very spiteful thing, just being able to say 'I have power over you and i can do anything i want with you,' because i really feel that they have power over me by they're presence."
This is such bullshit! And i'm not being vain thinking I'm so hot that all men can't resist me. This is legitimately scary for all women. I mean it just takes that one guy to find you attractive and snap. Mike Posner is really scary. I can't believe he got this song on the radio. I can't remember where it is but there's this other essay about how the nice guy is the one that snaps because he's tired of finishing last. I'm afraid for whoever this song is about and I hope to god Posner never acts out violently on his insecurities.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Sarah Palin Doncha Know
She calls herself a feminist. Usually I love when people are brave enough to stand up and say "this is what a feminist looks like." It's sometimes difficult to do given the stigma attached to it. I mean, who wants to be told they must be ugly and man-hating if they're a feminist?
However, Sarah Palin is not a feminist. For starters she doesn't support women's choice in reproductive health. Look, this would be like me going on national tv, stating my political and social opinions and at the end saying "I'm proud to be an uber conservative republican." That would be a lie (because i'm actually so liberal i've been likened to a communist). Sarah Palin cannot spout off her anti-feminist bullshit and then say it's what feminists believe in. You can't change the meaning of a word that means so much to so many people with lies. Just like you can't say all feminist are lesbian women. It's a lie.
This is a really great article on Sarah Palin. Ms. Bennett puts it much better than I can.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sam-bennett/sarah-palins-brand-of-fem_b_588729.html
However, Sarah Palin is not a feminist. For starters she doesn't support women's choice in reproductive health. Look, this would be like me going on national tv, stating my political and social opinions and at the end saying "I'm proud to be an uber conservative republican." That would be a lie (because i'm actually so liberal i've been likened to a communist). Sarah Palin cannot spout off her anti-feminist bullshit and then say it's what feminists believe in. You can't change the meaning of a word that means so much to so many people with lies. Just like you can't say all feminist are lesbian women. It's a lie.
This is a really great article on Sarah Palin. Ms. Bennett puts it much better than I can.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sam-bennett/sarah-palins-brand-of-fem_b_588729.html
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
WHAT THE FUCK!?
http://jezebel.com/5594774/jury-decides-consent-is-not-required-for-girls-gone-wild
Look at it. It will blow your mind.
Look at it. It will blow your mind.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Heterosexism
So today at camp some child asked me which male counselor i thought was the cutest. I asked her why she assumed i liked boys.
I love asking this question. People get rather freaked out when I question their heterosexism. (Just in case anyone is unfamiliar with the term, heterosexism is the assumption that all people are heterosexual or a bias against homosexuals)
Now i have a really bad gay-dar. You'll have to tell me if youre gay because i just won't think of it. I blame this on media. My assumption that everyone is straight comes from tv, movies and commercials that don't accurately represent the homosexual population.
When was the last time you saw a commercial where two men sat down with their daughter and had a family dinner? Never. It's disgraceful. It teaches everyone that homosexuality isn't "normal" and that they can't have a "normal" family. Which is of course bull shit. So what the hell world? get it together!
I love asking this question. People get rather freaked out when I question their heterosexism. (Just in case anyone is unfamiliar with the term, heterosexism is the assumption that all people are heterosexual or a bias against homosexuals)
Now i have a really bad gay-dar. You'll have to tell me if youre gay because i just won't think of it. I blame this on media. My assumption that everyone is straight comes from tv, movies and commercials that don't accurately represent the homosexual population.
When was the last time you saw a commercial where two men sat down with their daughter and had a family dinner? Never. It's disgraceful. It teaches everyone that homosexuality isn't "normal" and that they can't have a "normal" family. Which is of course bull shit. So what the hell world? get it together!
Commercials
Theres yet another commercial i hate.
So ok, first i'd like to talk about why i think so many commercials piss me off. Commercials think they have target audiences. So the swiffer duster commercial that plays on Lifetime at 1 in the afternoon is supposedly targeted to housewives (rather than college students home for the summer watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy, thank you very much). So advertising agencies make their commercials really vague and stereotypical, thinking they'll appeal to a larger amount of their target audience. The problem with this is that I'm not a housewife, but I am watching these commercials. So what about all those stay at home dads? or any other variation on the societal norm? It's sad that commercials only show a black and white world where "mom knows best" and isn't he silly, he can't cook!
One that really pisses me off right now is the new staples back to school commercial. I feel like it's a bit racist. I may be reading too much into it (and feel free to stop reading and swear me off for good if you disagree), but it seems racist. So ok, the scene goes like this. A young black man is looking over his back to school list and says "Hey this is funny, I'm going to make mom nervous about the cost of all my school supplies." Cue flashback of years past where mom is stressed over making sure her son has all the supplies he'll need to succeed in school. In present day, she pulls out her easy button and knows that, this year with the help of staples, she'll be able to provide for her son.
The reason i think this is racist is because it shows a black family, no father in sight or mentioned at all, and they're worrying about money. The first thing i think of is a single parent home where the mom is forced to take all shifts (mom, housewife, primary wage earner, etc) and needs help making ends meet. As I said before, advertising agencies feed on cultural stereotypes. So Staples is hoping that a real woman, like the one i just described, will watch this, identify with it, and go to staples.
The point is, we learn how to be people in the world in part though commercials. So as we learn what is "normal," we'll see that black women often are single mothers who want to be able to provide for their two children, but need help. Of course this is not true of all black women, just like it's not true that all white women are completely stable in their marriages and relationships. The more commercials use racist, sexist, heterosexist, etc stereotypes, the more difficult it will become (or remain rather) to move away from these ideas and move towards a more universal society.
So ok, first i'd like to talk about why i think so many commercials piss me off. Commercials think they have target audiences. So the swiffer duster commercial that plays on Lifetime at 1 in the afternoon is supposedly targeted to housewives (rather than college students home for the summer watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy, thank you very much). So advertising agencies make their commercials really vague and stereotypical, thinking they'll appeal to a larger amount of their target audience. The problem with this is that I'm not a housewife, but I am watching these commercials. So what about all those stay at home dads? or any other variation on the societal norm? It's sad that commercials only show a black and white world where "mom knows best" and isn't he silly, he can't cook!
One that really pisses me off right now is the new staples back to school commercial. I feel like it's a bit racist. I may be reading too much into it (and feel free to stop reading and swear me off for good if you disagree), but it seems racist. So ok, the scene goes like this. A young black man is looking over his back to school list and says "Hey this is funny, I'm going to make mom nervous about the cost of all my school supplies." Cue flashback of years past where mom is stressed over making sure her son has all the supplies he'll need to succeed in school. In present day, she pulls out her easy button and knows that, this year with the help of staples, she'll be able to provide for her son.
The reason i think this is racist is because it shows a black family, no father in sight or mentioned at all, and they're worrying about money. The first thing i think of is a single parent home where the mom is forced to take all shifts (mom, housewife, primary wage earner, etc) and needs help making ends meet. As I said before, advertising agencies feed on cultural stereotypes. So Staples is hoping that a real woman, like the one i just described, will watch this, identify with it, and go to staples.
The point is, we learn how to be people in the world in part though commercials. So as we learn what is "normal," we'll see that black women often are single mothers who want to be able to provide for their two children, but need help. Of course this is not true of all black women, just like it's not true that all white women are completely stable in their marriages and relationships. The more commercials use racist, sexist, heterosexist, etc stereotypes, the more difficult it will become (or remain rather) to move away from these ideas and move towards a more universal society.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Rule the air
Verizon's new commercial is pissing me off. Taking feminist ideas and turning them around to sell a product is disgraceful.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
One step for woman, one giant leap backwards for womynkind
I pretty much love Christina Aguilera for (i think) some pretty obvious reasons, namely her song Beautiful. However, her song Still Dirty is a little perturbing.
On the one side I like it because she asks, "Why is a woman's sexuality always under so much scrutiny? Why can't she do exactly as she please without being called a million things?" YES! THANK YOU! I love this line because she's so right! There are so many more words for promiscuous women than there are for men and we get called each one of them a million times a day. To our faces, behind our backs, just everywhere!
But her line "If I want to wear lingere outside of my clothes, if I want to be erotic in my own videos, if i want to be provocative, well, that aint a sin. Maybe you're not comfortable in your own skin." Um, girl please.
I touched on this subject in the Katy Perry post but music videos are the most main stream form of pornography there is. Just look at any top 40 music video where the artist is a woman. She is always half naked and drawing attention to her ass and tits. And often there's no mention of sex in the song, but the directors throw it in there just for funsies. There are so many social ramifications on this. We learn that women are always up for sex, we learn that women typically lounge about their bedrooms in just our bras and panties, we learn that men have to constantly turn down women and we learn that heterosexual sex is the only kind of sex. (seriously, tell me the last time your saw gay sex in a music video)
So by asserting her right to "do exactly as she please," she is indeed taking a step forward as a person. But by saying she really wants to do this, she's insinuating that all women really want to be treated the way they are portrayed in main stream music videos. It's like a woman who crys to get out of a ticket. Yes she has an individual benefit by not having to pay the fine, but she's pushing a negative stereotype about all women.
So good for your ms Aguilera for standing up for your right to do what you want. I just wish you'd realize what a detriment to womenhood your music videos are.
On the one side I like it because she asks, "Why is a woman's sexuality always under so much scrutiny? Why can't she do exactly as she please without being called a million things?" YES! THANK YOU! I love this line because she's so right! There are so many more words for promiscuous women than there are for men and we get called each one of them a million times a day. To our faces, behind our backs, just everywhere!
But her line "If I want to wear lingere outside of my clothes, if I want to be erotic in my own videos, if i want to be provocative, well, that aint a sin. Maybe you're not comfortable in your own skin." Um, girl please.
I touched on this subject in the Katy Perry post but music videos are the most main stream form of pornography there is. Just look at any top 40 music video where the artist is a woman. She is always half naked and drawing attention to her ass and tits. And often there's no mention of sex in the song, but the directors throw it in there just for funsies. There are so many social ramifications on this. We learn that women are always up for sex, we learn that women typically lounge about their bedrooms in just our bras and panties, we learn that men have to constantly turn down women and we learn that heterosexual sex is the only kind of sex. (seriously, tell me the last time your saw gay sex in a music video)
So by asserting her right to "do exactly as she please," she is indeed taking a step forward as a person. But by saying she really wants to do this, she's insinuating that all women really want to be treated the way they are portrayed in main stream music videos. It's like a woman who crys to get out of a ticket. Yes she has an individual benefit by not having to pay the fine, but she's pushing a negative stereotype about all women.
So good for your ms Aguilera for standing up for your right to do what you want. I just wish you'd realize what a detriment to womenhood your music videos are.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Rules of Engagement
I'm pissed.
The episode on right now showed the married man being accused of abusing his wife. From what I gathered, this sitcom was poking fun at how serious us women's rights activists get when we see abuse. So here's a giant FUCK YOU to Rules of Engagement. How dare you belittle spousal abuse you fucktards!
Plus the consultation with the supposed battered wife was horribly written. A social worker would never say those things to a woman s/he thinks is in an abusive relationship. If you're going to touch on such an important issue, at least do it justice. and also, don't make fun of it douche-bags!
The episode on right now showed the married man being accused of abusing his wife. From what I gathered, this sitcom was poking fun at how serious us women's rights activists get when we see abuse. So here's a giant FUCK YOU to Rules of Engagement. How dare you belittle spousal abuse you fucktards!
Plus the consultation with the supposed battered wife was horribly written. A social worker would never say those things to a woman s/he thinks is in an abusive relationship. If you're going to touch on such an important issue, at least do it justice. and also, don't make fun of it douche-bags!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
respect women, respect choice
I was watching a house episode where a woman wanted to put off chemo in the hopes that she could deliver her baby premature. Wilson said if she did this she would exponentially decrease her likelihood of survival. In the end, the baby survived and she did not. I'm not sure how I feel about this ending, but the premise deserves a what the hell.
I'm pro-choice, obviously. (i mean have you met me?) I actually feel I destroy the potential for life every month with my menstrual cycle. By not having sex, an egg, nay A CHILD, is flushed out of my body. Sounds like an abortion to me. So I support the right to choose. And if I ever have to, I won't think twice about it.
Now for situations where it's the mothers life or the childs I will always think the mother is more important. If the fetus is not able to survive outside the womb, then it's part of the woman, and therefore not a life of it's own. We have BIRTHdays not conception days. I think this is a big difference.
So what the hell character on House!? You've left your child without a mother and your husband without a wife. I don't get it.
I'm pro-choice, obviously. (i mean have you met me?) I actually feel I destroy the potential for life every month with my menstrual cycle. By not having sex, an egg, nay A CHILD, is flushed out of my body. Sounds like an abortion to me. So I support the right to choose. And if I ever have to, I won't think twice about it.
Now for situations where it's the mothers life or the childs I will always think the mother is more important. If the fetus is not able to survive outside the womb, then it's part of the woman, and therefore not a life of it's own. We have BIRTHdays not conception days. I think this is a big difference.
So what the hell character on House!? You've left your child without a mother and your husband without a wife. I don't get it.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Love at first sight!
BULL SHIT!
"The second I saw these hands I knew I wanted to hold them forever." awwww. NOT! What? come on now! So it has nothing to do with me, but my hands?! Or my looks?
I have a problem with picking partners based on physical appearance (and shut the fuck up about natural selection. That's not what Darwin meant. We're not animals, we have fully grown, fully functional frontal lobes. We can move past all that nonsense). I know I can't be in a committed, long-term, romantic relationship with someone who doesn't agree with my views on this stuff. It means too much to me. So how can I say that I'll be able to look at someone and say, "that's the one!" without knowing a single thing about their political views? I can't.
So what the hell Love at first sight? That's stupid.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
This one's for you Tem!
Men as feminists! Yes!
Ok so in a theatre class one day, my teacher asked the class who among us were feminists. One guy said, "well given the definition that feminist believe in gender equality i would say yes. However, people accused of being feminists get defensive because of the stereotypes associated with them."
There have been several studies (scientific and otherwise) that indicate that men receive benefits just for possessing a penis. So there is a fear that when women achieve social, political and economical equality with men they will be taking something away from men. Perhaps men when men no longer dominate the high paying jobs, the fact that the "men's club" will have female intruders will make them change the way they act. Now, if you understand my run-on sentence here, i get this. I really do. Because I would hate to feel like i have to change my behavior to benefit someone else. However, it is just plain wrong that the men's club has been around as long as it has. Florynce Kennedy once said, "There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody." Men are receiving benefits they have not earned and at the expense of other (namely women).
So if feminists seem angry, it's because we realize how unjust the world is and it's disheartening. It's why I write on here and call myself annoyed. Dr. Rachel Griffen said at JMU's Take Back the Night 2010: "They write me off as an angry black women as if I don't have a damn good reason to be."
So ok, now that you know this, (sort of, i realize i'm not explaining it fully or well enough) hopefully you may be inclined to help change it. Some suggestions for men off the top of my head:
- if you know you're being paid more than your female peer, speak up. Your boss may be more willing to change that. Now if you receive a pay cut for your troubles, thats obviously not the sort of equality we have in mind, but it is fair.
- gladly accept the label feminist if you feel the same as i do. The more men embrace the label the more we can change the stereotype. Also we can use the male stereotype to our advantage. So ok, men get angry for good reasons, right? As opposed to women who get upset for silly reasons, because we're too emotional. Men who get equally disheartened by sexist activities are more likely to be taken seriously and perhaps, makes it more likely for changes to occur.
If you have any other tips please feel free to add them in the comments!
Ok so in a theatre class one day, my teacher asked the class who among us were feminists. One guy said, "well given the definition that feminist believe in gender equality i would say yes. However, people accused of being feminists get defensive because of the stereotypes associated with them."
There have been several studies (scientific and otherwise) that indicate that men receive benefits just for possessing a penis. So there is a fear that when women achieve social, political and economical equality with men they will be taking something away from men. Perhaps men when men no longer dominate the high paying jobs, the fact that the "men's club" will have female intruders will make them change the way they act. Now, if you understand my run-on sentence here, i get this. I really do. Because I would hate to feel like i have to change my behavior to benefit someone else. However, it is just plain wrong that the men's club has been around as long as it has. Florynce Kennedy once said, "There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody." Men are receiving benefits they have not earned and at the expense of other (namely women).
So if feminists seem angry, it's because we realize how unjust the world is and it's disheartening. It's why I write on here and call myself annoyed. Dr. Rachel Griffen said at JMU's Take Back the Night 2010: "They write me off as an angry black women as if I don't have a damn good reason to be."
So ok, now that you know this, (sort of, i realize i'm not explaining it fully or well enough) hopefully you may be inclined to help change it. Some suggestions for men off the top of my head:
- if you know you're being paid more than your female peer, speak up. Your boss may be more willing to change that. Now if you receive a pay cut for your troubles, thats obviously not the sort of equality we have in mind, but it is fair.
- gladly accept the label feminist if you feel the same as i do. The more men embrace the label the more we can change the stereotype. Also we can use the male stereotype to our advantage. So ok, men get angry for good reasons, right? As opposed to women who get upset for silly reasons, because we're too emotional. Men who get equally disheartened by sexist activities are more likely to be taken seriously and perhaps, makes it more likely for changes to occur.
If you have any other tips please feel free to add them in the comments!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
"And don't nobody on TV look like none of y'all!"
I'm sitting here in a mood.
Yesterday was a fantastic day! I got a new bathing suit and I wore it to the pool and I felt beautiful and confident in my body. Today I'm sitting here feeling fat and bloated (because I just got my period whoopdidoo!)
ok so in case none of y'all recognize the quote in the title, this is my favorite show of all time "Whoopi Goldberg: DIrect from Broadway." Whoopi did a one woman show on Broadway that helped make her the star she is today. In this show she took on various characters and addressed various issues from teen pregnancy to ablism to body image problems in children. The quote is from Whoopi as a little black girl who wishes her hair could be long and blonde like the women she see's on TV. As she looks out into the audience she realizes that no one looks like actors in real life: "Don't nobody on TV look like none of y'all"
I'm trying to remind myself of that right now. Every time I look at my body I think about actors and models and how my body compares to theirs. I figure they don't have an excess of fat anywhere on their body. Now I don't know about you, but I have a rather flabby midsection (I get tan lines on my stomach from where the fat folds). I've had cellulite on my thighs ever since I knew what it was and how to look for it. I also have stretch marks on my thighs. All these features can send me into a spiraling depression because for so long my entire self-worth was tied up into my appearance and I never felt it was good enough.
So here are some fun facts courtesy of this great website I found, Fullandfabulous.org
- The average American woman is 5'4", weighs 140 lbs, and wears a size 14 dress.
- The "ideal" woman--portrayed by models, Miss America, Barbie dolls, and screen actresses--is 5'7", weighs 100 lbs, and wears a size 8.
- One-third of all American women wear a size 16 or larger.
- 50% of American women are on a diet at any one time.
- The diet industry (diet foods, diet programs, diet drugs, etc.) takes in over $40 billion each year, and is still growing.
- 90% of high school junior and senior women diet regularly, even though only between 10% and 15% are over the weight recommended by the standard height-weight charts.
- Girls develop eating and self-image problems before drug or alcohol problems; there are drug and alcohol programs in almost every school, but no eating disorder programs.
I have a huge problem with industries that profit off of the pain of others. I immensely dislike fashion magazines, cosmetic companies, plastic surgeons, and diet companies because the only way they stay in business is if people look "wrong." They control what "normal" looks like and profit off of those who do not fit the mold. In 1998 The Body Shop used the tagline "There are 3 billion women who DON'T look like supermodels, and 8 women that do." I'm not sure if the numbers are still true but the sentiment is. If those 8 women are the standard for beauty, then 3 million women are ugly.
However, even as I write this I think of all the steps taken to fix this problem. But I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks it's not good enough. Ok let me try to explain.... I am in the healthy BMI range, but I don't have a flat stomach and my thighs touch at the top. So one could describe me as skinny, but I'm not skinny enough to be one of those 8 women. Now I don't see anyone on TV or in magazines that looks like me. I feel like there are skinny women and plus sized women, but no in between. This obviously isn't true of real life, but really: Don't nobody on tv look like me. Some days it gets to me. this just happens to be one of those days.
Yesterday was a fantastic day! I got a new bathing suit and I wore it to the pool and I felt beautiful and confident in my body. Today I'm sitting here feeling fat and bloated (because I just got my period whoopdidoo!)
ok so in case none of y'all recognize the quote in the title, this is my favorite show of all time "Whoopi Goldberg: DIrect from Broadway." Whoopi did a one woman show on Broadway that helped make her the star she is today. In this show she took on various characters and addressed various issues from teen pregnancy to ablism to body image problems in children. The quote is from Whoopi as a little black girl who wishes her hair could be long and blonde like the women she see's on TV. As she looks out into the audience she realizes that no one looks like actors in real life: "Don't nobody on TV look like none of y'all"
I'm trying to remind myself of that right now. Every time I look at my body I think about actors and models and how my body compares to theirs. I figure they don't have an excess of fat anywhere on their body. Now I don't know about you, but I have a rather flabby midsection (I get tan lines on my stomach from where the fat folds). I've had cellulite on my thighs ever since I knew what it was and how to look for it. I also have stretch marks on my thighs. All these features can send me into a spiraling depression because for so long my entire self-worth was tied up into my appearance and I never felt it was good enough.
So here are some fun facts courtesy of this great website I found, Fullandfabulous.org
- The average American woman is 5'4", weighs 140 lbs, and wears a size 14 dress.
- The "ideal" woman--portrayed by models, Miss America, Barbie dolls, and screen actresses--is 5'7", weighs 100 lbs, and wears a size 8.
- One-third of all American women wear a size 16 or larger.
- 50% of American women are on a diet at any one time.
- The diet industry (diet foods, diet programs, diet drugs, etc.) takes in over $40 billion each year, and is still growing.
- 90% of high school junior and senior women diet regularly, even though only between 10% and 15% are over the weight recommended by the standard height-weight charts.
- Girls develop eating and self-image problems before drug or alcohol problems; there are drug and alcohol programs in almost every school, but no eating disorder programs.
I have a huge problem with industries that profit off of the pain of others. I immensely dislike fashion magazines, cosmetic companies, plastic surgeons, and diet companies because the only way they stay in business is if people look "wrong." They control what "normal" looks like and profit off of those who do not fit the mold. In 1998 The Body Shop used the tagline "There are 3 billion women who DON'T look like supermodels, and 8 women that do." I'm not sure if the numbers are still true but the sentiment is. If those 8 women are the standard for beauty, then 3 million women are ugly.
However, even as I write this I think of all the steps taken to fix this problem. But I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks it's not good enough. Ok let me try to explain.... I am in the healthy BMI range, but I don't have a flat stomach and my thighs touch at the top. So one could describe me as skinny, but I'm not skinny enough to be one of those 8 women. Now I don't see anyone on TV or in magazines that looks like me. I feel like there are skinny women and plus sized women, but no in between. This obviously isn't true of real life, but really: Don't nobody on tv look like me. Some days it gets to me. this just happens to be one of those days.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Gloria Steinem
So my favorite article is called If men could menstruate by Gloria Steinem. If you haven't read it, do. It's awesome! But she doesn't talk about mood swings.
Story time! Today I cried in front of my boss. He couldn't understand why I would be crying over something so trivial as people being mean to me all day. Now, since every woman's different around her time of the month, I'll let you know a little something about me: I get moody about 1 week before my period. I will yell at you for almost nothing and cry at the drop of a hat. I can't control it, Believe me I try.
So (in line with Steinem) if men could menstruate, mood swings would be not need to be controlled. Men would proudly announce that they were not to be messed with because "I'M ON MY PERIOD!!!" Or if they happened to shed a tear because... I don't know.... someone stole his parking spot, this thief would apologize! If only men apologized to me for making me cry! But instead, I'm called hysterical and too emotional and overreacting. WHAT THE HELL!?!
Story time! Today I cried in front of my boss. He couldn't understand why I would be crying over something so trivial as people being mean to me all day. Now, since every woman's different around her time of the month, I'll let you know a little something about me: I get moody about 1 week before my period. I will yell at you for almost nothing and cry at the drop of a hat. I can't control it, Believe me I try.
So (in line with Steinem) if men could menstruate, mood swings would be not need to be controlled. Men would proudly announce that they were not to be messed with because "I'M ON MY PERIOD!!!" Or if they happened to shed a tear because... I don't know.... someone stole his parking spot, this thief would apologize! If only men apologized to me for making me cry! But instead, I'm called hysterical and too emotional and overreacting. WHAT THE HELL!?!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
That's why I don't date abusive men
Ok I may be nitpicking here, but I truly can't stand these words: "women who get themselves in abusive relationships" (cassandra chavez of So you think you can dance)
No women goes out and looks for a man she thinks will hit her. Women do not get themselves in these "situations." Women get caught in the middle of these men. Men who batter are sick. They are diseased and need help. (also jail but that's another issue)
If I can give some advise to anyone who wants it: if your partner ever gets abusive (and i mean physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, anything), Leave. I swear you can come stay with me. The first time. Leave.
No women goes out and looks for a man she thinks will hit her. Women do not get themselves in these "situations." Women get caught in the middle of these men. Men who batter are sick. They are diseased and need help. (also jail but that's another issue)
If I can give some advise to anyone who wants it: if your partner ever gets abusive (and i mean physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, anything), Leave. I swear you can come stay with me. The first time. Leave.
YAY!
Something really not annoying! The radio station 99.5 plays just the worst of the worst crap music has to offer. I take offense to 90% of the songs they play. BUT there was a commercial done by one of the hosts of the morning show and it was awesome! It was called the Pig Out Pledge and it went something like "If you want to pig out this summer, you're going to have to work out!" and it advertised LA Boxing. I love this so much because it's not "stop eating, you're too fat to wear that bathing suit" it's more honest. Because if we want to eat a lot (especially unhealthy food) we need to exercise. Period. That's just a fact of life.
So good for you LA Boxing and 99.5 for promoting a healthy way to look at eating and our bodies!
So good for you LA Boxing and 99.5 for promoting a healthy way to look at eating and our bodies!
Statutory Rape
So recently sports star Lawrence Taylor has been accused of having sex with an underage prostitute. Now I actually think that we should decriminalize prostitution and regulate it as a real business. I see nothing wrong with paying for sex, but I do see a problem with pimping out 15-year-olds. We could, if we would just get our heads out of our asses, make this a safe industry with regular STI screens and safe places to do business.
Now hopefully, this girls uncle (her pimp) will go to jail. I don't know his situation or what drove him to this, but profiting on the rape of his niece is a punishable offense. He should spend a significant amount of time in jail.
This is part of a bigger problem that has slowly worked its way into our society. Why would a 51 year old man want to have sex with a 15 year old girl? I'll tell you why. Because we sexualize children and infantalize women. Proof? Eating disorders. Women in magazines are tiny and then airbrushed to look smaller. If we consider anorexia as a social disorder as well as a psychological disorder, we can say that people learn how they should look from media sources (ex. magazines, movies, music videos, ect) and that they are given the impression that beauty is synonymous with small. So we diet and we starve ourselves, all to conform to the standard of beauty promoted by an industry that loves to profit on our insecurities.
Now here's the kicker: women who don't have body fat or enough body fat, cease to menstruate. The only other females who don't menstruate? Young girls. So the smaller women get, the more men start to associate women with young girls.
So we can say that Mr. Taylor is a product of our twisted society and realize that he "didn't realize she was underage" because of how the media portrays women. BUT it still doesn't change the fact that he had sex with her.
Now solving this matter. I think we should demand a law that prohibits the use of photo shop from magazines and there should be a weight requirement for models. I realize that this is just another way to control women and maybe you think you have the right to publish a photo of a size 8 model and make it look like her jaw is bigger than her waist (I'm talking to you Ralph Lauren), but anorexia kills. These actions have real effects on real women and it's killing us.
Now hopefully, this girls uncle (her pimp) will go to jail. I don't know his situation or what drove him to this, but profiting on the rape of his niece is a punishable offense. He should spend a significant amount of time in jail.
This is part of a bigger problem that has slowly worked its way into our society. Why would a 51 year old man want to have sex with a 15 year old girl? I'll tell you why. Because we sexualize children and infantalize women. Proof? Eating disorders. Women in magazines are tiny and then airbrushed to look smaller. If we consider anorexia as a social disorder as well as a psychological disorder, we can say that people learn how they should look from media sources (ex. magazines, movies, music videos, ect) and that they are given the impression that beauty is synonymous with small. So we diet and we starve ourselves, all to conform to the standard of beauty promoted by an industry that loves to profit on our insecurities.
Now here's the kicker: women who don't have body fat or enough body fat, cease to menstruate. The only other females who don't menstruate? Young girls. So the smaller women get, the more men start to associate women with young girls.
So we can say that Mr. Taylor is a product of our twisted society and realize that he "didn't realize she was underage" because of how the media portrays women. BUT it still doesn't change the fact that he had sex with her.
Now solving this matter. I think we should demand a law that prohibits the use of photo shop from magazines and there should be a weight requirement for models. I realize that this is just another way to control women and maybe you think you have the right to publish a photo of a size 8 model and make it look like her jaw is bigger than her waist (I'm talking to you Ralph Lauren), but anorexia kills. These actions have real effects on real women and it's killing us.
Monday, June 21, 2010
I married my best friend
So I sat through Valentines Day for the first time last night. Yikes. The only two moments I enjoyed was seeing McSteamy come out and Julia Roberts come home to her son. The movie should have just been about those three characters. Would have been so much better!
Ok so what's the secret to a great, long marriage? Marry your best friend. Well what if you've never ever once thought of him that way? What if you both are in relationships? No matter! Dump your partner and hook up with your friend. What if you kissed and it was bad? You're still meant to be!!
I really hate this because I'm desperate to learn that men and women can be just friends. I have one good male friend and we've somehow managed to never think of each other that way. This, as far as I can tell, is rare. I mean, it's been pretty rare for me.
The point is, we learn how to function in the world through media. We learn about proper social and gender roles from movies, tv, commercials, songs, ect. According to all I've seen, unless your best friend is homosexual (Will and Grace), eventually you two are going to be bumping uglies. what the hell?
Ok so what's the secret to a great, long marriage? Marry your best friend. Well what if you've never ever once thought of him that way? What if you both are in relationships? No matter! Dump your partner and hook up with your friend. What if you kissed and it was bad? You're still meant to be!!
I really hate this because I'm desperate to learn that men and women can be just friends. I have one good male friend and we've somehow managed to never think of each other that way. This, as far as I can tell, is rare. I mean, it's been pretty rare for me.
The point is, we learn how to function in the world through media. We learn about proper social and gender roles from movies, tv, commercials, songs, ect. According to all I've seen, unless your best friend is homosexual (Will and Grace), eventually you two are going to be bumping uglies. what the hell?
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Katy Perry
I really don't like her. I had a mild appreciation for her danceable and sing-along-able when your drunk songs but now she's dead to me.
So the song "California Girls." I hadn't heard it until I saw some beautiful drag queens dancing to it at the Gay Pride Festival in DC last weekend. Since then I've taken part in a parody version and seen the music video.
Ok lets just start by saying she's in league with the disgusting ass hole Snoop Dogg. So in case you didn't catch the porn he produced "Diary of a Pimp," he displays a perverted desire to turn women into sex slaves. He also seems to have the deluded idea that he could do it. What the hell? Ew.
The video is disgusting. She actively turns women in candy. I mean what? We have been reduced to snack food to be consumed. And what the hell is up with the back-up girls trapped in a bubble, jell-o and body bag (ok a wrapper but she seemed deceased to me!)
I just love how at the very end she throws sand in Snoops face for blowing a kiss at her breasts but she had no problem lying on a cloud with only cotton candy covering her ass crack. Now i really do hesitate to talk about her perceived promiscuity because i'd hate to slut shame anyone, but seriously. You do a music video, the most mainstream kind of porn there is, be naked and include Snoop Dogg. I say you get whatever anyone throws at you. I mean that's just gross.
So there. I'm conflicted about what this means for my third wave feminist ideals that say you can do whatever the fuck you want as long as you understand why you do it and that you really want to. But I know that she has done nothing in this video to empower women. So she deserves a what the hell?
So the song "California Girls." I hadn't heard it until I saw some beautiful drag queens dancing to it at the Gay Pride Festival in DC last weekend. Since then I've taken part in a parody version and seen the music video.
Ok lets just start by saying she's in league with the disgusting ass hole Snoop Dogg. So in case you didn't catch the porn he produced "Diary of a Pimp," he displays a perverted desire to turn women into sex slaves. He also seems to have the deluded idea that he could do it. What the hell? Ew.
The video is disgusting. She actively turns women in candy. I mean what? We have been reduced to snack food to be consumed. And what the hell is up with the back-up girls trapped in a bubble, jell-o and body bag (ok a wrapper but she seemed deceased to me!)
I just love how at the very end she throws sand in Snoops face for blowing a kiss at her breasts but she had no problem lying on a cloud with only cotton candy covering her ass crack. Now i really do hesitate to talk about her perceived promiscuity because i'd hate to slut shame anyone, but seriously. You do a music video, the most mainstream kind of porn there is, be naked and include Snoop Dogg. I say you get whatever anyone throws at you. I mean that's just gross.
So there. I'm conflicted about what this means for my third wave feminist ideals that say you can do whatever the fuck you want as long as you understand why you do it and that you really want to. But I know that she has done nothing in this video to empower women. So she deserves a what the hell?
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Bitch
The word. What the hell?
Ok a little history. Ancient Rome was ruled by pagans. The goddess Artemis was a huntress and was often depicted with dogs. She was referred to as the Great Bitch. So when the Christians came along, they needed a way to make paganism undesirable, so they made "bitch" a swear word. And all of the followers of Artemis were called Sons of Bitches. So it's purely a Christian swear word.
Just a side note to point out that bitch refers to the goddess and a son of a bitch refers to anyone else. BUT it still puts the blame on the woman.
So there are a few different ways to call someone a bitch. For the sake of this post I'll just use two: man can be called a "little bitch" and women who are mean or stubborn can be called a bitch.
Ok what now? Bitch means unnaturally submissive and unnaturally dominating? How can that BE?
Ok a little history. Ancient Rome was ruled by pagans. The goddess Artemis was a huntress and was often depicted with dogs. She was referred to as the Great Bitch. So when the Christians came along, they needed a way to make paganism undesirable, so they made "bitch" a swear word. And all of the followers of Artemis were called Sons of Bitches. So it's purely a Christian swear word.
Just a side note to point out that bitch refers to the goddess and a son of a bitch refers to anyone else. BUT it still puts the blame on the woman.
So there are a few different ways to call someone a bitch. For the sake of this post I'll just use two: man can be called a "little bitch" and women who are mean or stubborn can be called a bitch.
Ok what now? Bitch means unnaturally submissive and unnaturally dominating? How can that BE?
Grey's Anatomy
I really like this show. Its full of hot, smart, independent women who are both hetero and homosexual. I love lesbians on TV.
But I'm watching the reruns on Lifetime and I'm realizing how much Dr. Miranda Baily's life is run by sexism. She gets pregnant 10 years into her marriage and career. When her job starts interfering with her duties as a mother and wife, her husband goes ballistic and makes her choose. She chooses her career over her husband. Hell to the mother fucking yes!
I mean what?! Do wives ever make their husbands choose between their career and them? No. Because it's a ridiculous request. Also women are expected to take care of the relationship. If they don't want to take that third shift they are considered cold, frigid, uncaring, unladylike. FUCK YOU!
But I'm watching the reruns on Lifetime and I'm realizing how much Dr. Miranda Baily's life is run by sexism. She gets pregnant 10 years into her marriage and career. When her job starts interfering with her duties as a mother and wife, her husband goes ballistic and makes her choose. She chooses her career over her husband. Hell to the mother fucking yes!
I mean what?! Do wives ever make their husbands choose between their career and them? No. Because it's a ridiculous request. Also women are expected to take care of the relationship. If they don't want to take that third shift they are considered cold, frigid, uncaring, unladylike. FUCK YOU!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Something more awesome than annoying
Actually not annoying at all! The gay pride festival was in DC all last week and I went yesterday. It was AWESOME!
Here's a fun little fact: all of them are feminists.
Here's a few reasons why:
you can't be a feminist and not have to fight against all the other isms. Racism, heterosexism, ect. So it stands to reason that those who fight against heterosexism are also fighting sexism, even if not directly.
Also, (and here's the what the hell moment of this entry) I hate when heterosexuals ask a homosexual couple "who's the man and who's the woman in this relationship." I mean duh. It's ALWAYS obvious. Ok so if you're asking two men in a relationship it's immediately clear THEY'RE BOTH MEN. Expected gender roles (which is what is really being asked) are really detrimental to the fight. It's what makes us assume that a mother will stay home with her children while a father will go out and work 40 hours a week. It's ridiculous because that's obviously not the case in every family and we shouldn't teach our children that's the only way a proper family works.
Thats all for now. But everyone should go next year cause it's brilliant!
Here's a fun little fact: all of them are feminists.
Here's a few reasons why:
you can't be a feminist and not have to fight against all the other isms. Racism, heterosexism, ect. So it stands to reason that those who fight against heterosexism are also fighting sexism, even if not directly.
Also, (and here's the what the hell moment of this entry) I hate when heterosexuals ask a homosexual couple "who's the man and who's the woman in this relationship." I mean duh. It's ALWAYS obvious. Ok so if you're asking two men in a relationship it's immediately clear THEY'RE BOTH MEN. Expected gender roles (which is what is really being asked) are really detrimental to the fight. It's what makes us assume that a mother will stay home with her children while a father will go out and work 40 hours a week. It's ridiculous because that's obviously not the case in every family and we shouldn't teach our children that's the only way a proper family works.
Thats all for now. But everyone should go next year cause it's brilliant!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Old Navy Commercials
Putting aside the fact that the "Modelquins" are creepy as hell, the females are sexist! I really REALLY hate the new commercials featuring the "One Day Wonder Boy." How can women expect advertisements to stop objectifying us if there are an equal amount of commercials objectifying men?! This is not the kind of equality I'm after.
Braces
So most of us had braces. It's a pretty normal rite of passage. But the more I think about those two years, the more I realize what a sick and twisted procedure it is.
I hated my orthodontist. He was a sadistic asshole who seemed to take great pleasure in hurting me every single time I went in. Braces are ridiculously painful corsets on your teeth to change the way they look. I don't know about your teeth, but mine were fine. I mean they were "ugly" but they worked. All braces did was change they way they looked and not even significantly. But still I went through two years PAINFUL years of not being able to chew food and I WANTED this. How sick is it that we WANT braces? We are told over and over again by those "happy" smiling people in the commercials that braces will change our lives! I mean think about it! How many of us thought we'd be happier, more popular, more outgoing, ect ect ect once we got our braces off. How often was this true? Braces didn't do a damn thing for my self-esteem so what the hell did I suffer for?
What the hell?
I hated my orthodontist. He was a sadistic asshole who seemed to take great pleasure in hurting me every single time I went in. Braces are ridiculously painful corsets on your teeth to change the way they look. I don't know about your teeth, but mine were fine. I mean they were "ugly" but they worked. All braces did was change they way they looked and not even significantly. But still I went through two years PAINFUL years of not being able to chew food and I WANTED this. How sick is it that we WANT braces? We are told over and over again by those "happy" smiling people in the commercials that braces will change our lives! I mean think about it! How many of us thought we'd be happier, more popular, more outgoing, ect ect ect once we got our braces off. How often was this true? Braces didn't do a damn thing for my self-esteem so what the hell did I suffer for?
What the hell?
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
95% of Rapists never spend a day in jail
The Annoyed Feminist here with a daily dose of Are you fucking kidding me? So yea, the majority of rapists completely avoid jail time. They manage this a couple of ways:
First off we live in a culture that blames the victim. This is pretty common as we think we can avoid sexual assault if we do not repeat the mistakes of a victim. So a defense attorney representing the rapist can stand in front of a judge, jury, ect and say "she asked for it. Just look at what she was wearing!"
Another way it happens is the excuse we were drunk. In a 2000 survey research showed 41% of offenders were perceived to be under the influence of drugs/alcohol. Here's why this is stupid, we don't give breaks to drunk drivers. We all make bad decisions when we're drunk but when we decide to drive we end up in jail. So WHY for the love of god WHY don't we imprison rapists even when their drunk?
In my opinion, the worst reason rapists avoid jail is because survivors are reluctant to come forward. All I can ask here is that if you're a survivor, is go to the police. If there's one group of people who deserve to be locked up it's rapists.
First off we live in a culture that blames the victim. This is pretty common as we think we can avoid sexual assault if we do not repeat the mistakes of a victim. So a defense attorney representing the rapist can stand in front of a judge, jury, ect and say "she asked for it. Just look at what she was wearing!"
Another way it happens is the excuse we were drunk. In a 2000 survey research showed 41% of offenders were perceived to be under the influence of drugs/alcohol. Here's why this is stupid, we don't give breaks to drunk drivers. We all make bad decisions when we're drunk but when we decide to drive we end up in jail. So WHY for the love of god WHY don't we imprison rapists even when their drunk?
In my opinion, the worst reason rapists avoid jail is because survivors are reluctant to come forward. All I can ask here is that if you're a survivor, is go to the police. If there's one group of people who deserve to be locked up it's rapists.
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